


A Losers' Lovestory in the 90's

by elinastie



Series: A Losers' Lovestory [1]
Category: IT (Movies - Muschietti), IT - Stephen King
Genre: Aged-Up Losers Club (IT), F/M, First Kiss, First Love, Losers Club (IT) Friendship, M/M, Teen Romance, Teenage Losers Club (IT)
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-09-08
Updated: 2020-05-22
Packaged: 2020-10-12 18:36:50
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 23
Words: 36,625
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20569007
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/elinastie/pseuds/elinastie
Summary: WARNINGS: vulgar language, references/hints to sexual acts (nothing too graphic, it is up to your imagination), violence, homophobia1994 - Teenagehood brings The Losers strong unknown feelings and an urge to discover their sexualities. An innocent child's crush transforms into something greater than expected as the years pass by. Acceptance, love and a fear of being misunderstood are the key terms for Richie's and Eddie's ageing together.(This is very vague, so basically, The Losers have become teenagers and are on a path to discover their feelings towards each other.Mainly Reddie with a hint of Benverly and Stenbrough.)





	1. First Kiss

It was a cloudy afternoon in the early October of 1990. It looked as if it would start raining at any given moment. But it didn't, leaving a weird tension in the air. Bill, Richie and Eddie were sitting in Richie's warmly lit bedroom, each with a comic book in their hands.  
Bill and Eddie were sitting on the carpet leaned against Richie's bed on which he was laying on his belly.  
"Guys," Richie suddenly broke the silence. "Have you ever kissed someone?"  
"Where the hell does that question come from?" Eddie asked putting his comic book down.  
The boy shrugged. "They just kissed in my comic. Sooo, did you?"  
Eddie shook his head. He was only thirteen, he didn't even think about such things.  
"I d-did, but o-only Bev." Bill replied.  
"I did too."  
"Who?" He asked.  
"A cute girl, what do you think?" Richie said mockingly.  
"And w-w-what's her n-name?"  
"I don't kiss and tell! I'm a gentleman."  
Bill sighted and stood up. "I would tr-try to get it out of you, b-b-but I need to p-pee." Then he left the room to go to the bathroom.  
Eddie had already continued reading and forgotten about the conversation when Richie spoke again.  
"Psst, Eds."  
"What?" Eddie looked up at his friend.  
"I was lying, I've never kissed anyone."  
"What? Why did you do that?"  
"Because... I don't know. I don't wanted to seem like a desperate virgin in front of Billy-boy, I guess."  
"You are a virgin!"  
"But I'm not desperate."  
"Right now you seem pretty desperate..."  
"Whatever. It just came out of my mouth. As stuff usually just does."  
Silence filled the air again. Again Eddie thought the conversation had come to an end.  
"Eds?"  
"Don't call me-"  
"What if you help me make it less of a lie?" Richie asked shyly.  
"What? How?"  
"Let's kiss." Richie said looking dead serious.  
"Very funny, asshole." Eddie replied looking back at his comic book.  
"No, I mean it. Just so we can say we've kissed someone and so that when we have a real kiss it won't be so weird. We'll be prepared, y'know?."  
"You're seriously not kidding?"  
Richie shook his head and Eddie could tell that he wasn't joking.  
"I don't know Rich... Isn't that what people get made fun of?"  
"We are not gonna tell anyone who we kissed."  
Eddie thought about it and put his comic aside. "Just to have done it?"  
"Just to have done it."  
"Okay.." he replied hesitantly and got up. "But if you tell anyone, you're dead." He sat onto the bed as Richie sat up, so that they were facing each other.  
Richie closed his eyes.  
"Does it work with glasses?"  
"Eds."  
"Okay, sorry."  
Eddie closed the distance between them by leaning forward. He squinted his eyes and pressed his lips together into a thin line. Then he pressed them against Richie's for a split second.  
"That's not how it works! I can kiss your mother better than that!" Richie protested.  
"Well, then you do it!" Eddie said in a sulky tone.  
"I will!"  
He cupped Eddie's cheeks which were turning a light pink shade. Again, Eddie squinted his eyes and pressed his lips together into a thin line.  
"Don't do that with your mouth, you idiot. Leave it normal!"  
Hesitanly Eddie did as told and opened one eye slightly. Richie then gently put their lips together for a few seconds. Then Eddie moved away.  
"Kissing is weird." He said as he got off the bed.  
"I bet it would be better with your mom."  
"Beep-beep Richie!" He said grinning and hitting his friend with his comic book.


	2. Camping and Alcohol

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> additional warnings: homophobia, a not nice word to call gay people

Mike stopped his pick-up on on the empty parking spot. "From here on it's walking" he said as he grabbed his bag and jumped out of the car. Eddie and Stan who had been sitting next to him also got out with their luggage. The three walked around the pick-up. Richie had already stood up on the loading area. The other three losers were on their way of doing the same.

He called "I am ready for adventures!" and jumped off.

"Don't forget your b-bag Trashmouth!", Bill said and threw his friend's bag straight into his face. Then he proceeded to grab his own.

Everyone took their belongings and one other thing such as pieces of tents, food or drinks. All around them were trees and sun rays shining through them. From not far off the sound of flowing water was audible.

"Where to?" Ben asked and Eddie pointed in a direction.

"I'd say to the river." He looked at Bill as to get his approvement. His friend nodded and so they took off.

They found a clearing close to the river. There they dropped their baggage off. They began setting their three tents up and for awhile they were highly focused on doing it correctly so they remained silent apart from annoyed complaints and a few discussions here and there until they were finished.

"I'm going to go explore the area a bit" Richie informed the others getting out a packet of Winstons from the backpocket of his shorts. He lit a cigarette and then offered one to Beverly who took it thankfully. No one else wanted one.

"I-I'm guh-going with", Bill said. The five others also wanted to go and so they all went together.

They walked around trying not to get lost, but everyone knew they couldn't with Eddie on their side. They walked along the river until Bev decided she wanted to get across it to the other side. Luckily enough stones stood out of the current making it easy to get over without getting wet feet. Beverly was followed by Bill and after him came Ben and then Richie. Eddie was last to set foot on the round stones. When he was close to the end of the improvised path he slipped and fell butt first into the river. For a moment it was quiet. Everyone looked at the boy sitting in the water, scared that he would become extremely annoyed and complain. No one knew what to say. Suddenly Eddie burst out laughing. After a few seconds everyone did so too and he got up. Beverly got to him to help him and together they got to the other side, joining their friends.

"Guys, I've had enough exploring for the day", Eddie said as the laughter was dying out. He looked at his soaking clothes. "I'm going back to the camp. I have to change into something dry. I don't want to get sick, my mom would kill me." He grinned and then turned and stepped into the river again, now not bothering to vicariously step only onto the stones but walking straight through the water. He stumbled to the other side labouriously and started heading towards their camp.

His fall had been funny, but now his wet sneakers began to annoy him. How were they going to dry any time soon?

"Hey! Wait on me Eds!" a voice behind him called. He turned around to see Richie getting over the river.

"We don't want you to get lost all alone" Richie said when he caught up with his friend. They continued walking.

"If anyone is getting lost it's the others." Richie laughed.

The camp was only a few minutes away. As soon as they arrived Eddie took off his shoes and socks. Then he got his bag and scrambled around in it. He found what he was looking for and got the small towel out.

"You brought a towel here?" Richie asked in surprise.

"Of course, towels are useful in many situations" the other replied absentmindedly as he stood up.

"I don't even know why I was so surprised about that."

"Well..." Eddie said awkwardly looking at his friend. "I'm going to get dry then." He got into a tent and closed it. Then he called "Don't look!"

"Now you temped me" Richie called back jockingly, his face turning red. He was glad the other couldn't see it.

After a minute of silence Eddie spoke again: "Uhm... Richie? Could you maybe give me the dry clothes from my bag?"

"Uh... Sure." Richie got to his knees and opened the rucksack. He looked around in it. First he spotted a pair of yellow shorts. He got them out. He continued searching for a shirt. As he was doing so he saw one of his friend's fresh underpants. He blushed and dug deeper. Then he realised that Eddie _needed_ dry underwear, it is not like his did not get wet despite his shirt and trousers being soaked. He took the white piece of cloth out too, blushing deeper.

_What's your damn problem, man? You've been friends for ages. You're nearly an adult, there's really no need to be embarrassed by a pair of underpants._  
_(But I am.)_

"Richie?" a voice interrupted his thoughts.

"Yeah?"

"What's taking so long?" Eddie said popping his head through the tents opening.

"I can't find a shirt, senior."

"What? That can’t be. Give me the bag." Richie did so. His friend grabbed it and disappeared in the tent again.

"Oh crap!" he called after a short moment. "I forgot to bring another one.

"Eddie Kasbprak, everyone: the guy who brings a fucking towel to a place were no showers were ever seen before but forgets to bring another shirt."

"I was mainly thinking about which medicine to bring considering all illnesses one can catch in a forest."

"Okay sure", Richie said. "Well, I'll get you one of my shirts." He opened the tent's zipper looking away. Eddie cried out in surprise and covered himself with the small towel.

"Chill, I'm not looking", his friend said and threw his pants and underwear into the tent. "Man, I've seen you naked plenty, don't make a fuss."

_(But I myself am making a fuss, I could never see him naked now without...)_

He stood up and got to his rucksack. Eddie climbed out of the tent in shorts and a naked upper body which he subconsciously tried to cover as best as possible.  
He wasn't very successful.  
Richie handed him a 'The Cure' band shirt which he put on quickly. The shirt was too big and was nearly below the rim of his rather short shorts.

He muttered a "thanks".

"No problem." On both of their faces a faint pink colour had spread and both looked away hoping the other wouldn't see. Luckily the five remaining Losers appeared in that instant.

"Oh Eddie, isn't that Richie's shirt?" Bev asked.

"Uhm, yes", the boy replied shyly looking at his bare feet.

"Would you believe he forgot a spare T-shirt?" Richie asked mockingly.

"No, but Richie’s shirt looks cute on you too."

"Doesn't it?" Richie said. The two of them blushed deeper.

"Anyways" Beverly continued, "who else is hungry?"

They got a small fire going with Beverly's matches and began cooking the food they had. They ate around the fire and drank beer.

"And nooow..." Richie said when he placed his empty paper plate on the floor. He turned around and began scrambling for something in his bag. He got out three glass bottles. On two of them 'Vodka' was written on the front. On the third it was 'Gin'. He gave Ben who was sitting to his right one of the vodka bottles. "Pass them around Haystack!" he called. He was slightly tipsy from the four beers he had had so his voice was louder than usual.  
"And this one," he began, holding up the gin bottle. "I bought specially for the cutest one in our group. Be a treasure and pass this to the lovely Eddie-boy, Beverly, sweetheart." He gave it to her. She was sitting to his left. She did as he had told her and winked at Eddie. "Beeb-beeb Richie", he mumbled looking at the ground and taking the bottle.

By now the air had gotten colder and everyone was wrapped in a blanket or already inside their sleeping bags.

"You are insane Trashmouth" Stan said, "we're not drinking this pure shit." He was holding a vodka bottle and looking at it mistrustingly.

"Oh, don't worry Stanley, Stan the Man. Bev?"

She grinned and held up soda bottles. "This is going to be fun."

***

"Let's play spin the bottle!" Beverly cried out. The sky was a dark shade of blue by now and all the losers were drunk and therefore had flushed cheeks. She was sitting on Bens lab. No one would've been able to tell how she had gotten there. His face was of a high red colour but he had never looked happier. It was about one o'clock in the morning.

"You're the only girl, that's boring!" Stan said.

"You want to tell me that all of you are only into girls?" She giggled. "One out of ten people is homosexual so it is likely that one of you is! Also, where there is one homosexual person there are usually more." She took a drag from the cigarette resting between her fingers.

"Did you read a book on that?" Mike asked grinning.

She laughed. "It's the nineties, it's old news. You can tell aunt Bev, it will be our little secret. But there's nothing wrong with liking boys, so it doesn't need to be a secret."

"Y-you're drunk as shuh-shit" Bill said and laughed. Stan glanced at him.

"Okay, sooo, never have I ever?" she continued.  
  
"That's better" Mike said. "Sooo, never have I ever... uhm, fantasized about kissing someone from the same gender" He said.

"Oh, c'mon! What's with all this gay stuff?" Stan complained.

"Sorry" Mike laughed. "But after Bev's speech..."

Bill drank. After him everyone else also did. It was his superpower, he made everyone gain courage. Eddie would never have taken a sip if Bill had not take one too. The only one who didn't drink was Ben.

"Uhm, is that something everyone does?" Ben asked grinning. "Why am I the weird one for not having done that?" Everyone laughed.

"You've never b-b-been curious?" Bill asked him.

Ben shrugged. "Nope."

"Guess we need to change our club name to The Faggs And Ben." Richie said laughing and then lighting a ciggarette.

"Don't worry." Ben replied. "I'll try imagining it some day." Everyone laughed again.

"Never have I ever..." Bev said. "Kissed one of the losers." She took the red plastic cup which was placed in front of her and took a shot. Bill and Ben who had both kissed her did the same.

"Wow, you're just desperate to get drunk Bevvy" Mike giggled.

"I don't believe it." She said. Her cheeks were flushed from the alcohol she had already consumed. "I don't believe none of you have ever kissed someone from our group."

"We're all guys, wh-why w-would we?." Bill said in confusion, but shot a quick look at Stan.

"I don't know. Curiousity? Being drunk? Actually liking guys? Anyway, you guys have no other social contacts and get drunk together - something is bound to happen."

"None of us-" Stan began but Beverly interrupted him.

"Speak for yourself Stanley. We're not continuing until one of you drink."

"I think you've had enough alcohol, dear" Richie said grabbing her drink.

Eddie looked at him and then quickly back at his tennis socks he had been starring at since the question. He was blushing as he remembered the kiss he had had with Richie so many years ago. He hadn't really thought about it until now. He side eyed Richie to find out if he was going to drink. _It doesn't count_, he thought and wished he could thelepathically send it to his friend sitting next to him. _Don't drink Richie, we said we wouldn't tell anyone._

But Richie didn't hear Eddie's thoughts. His thin fingers were already closing around the cup. They had eye contact for a split second before Richie put it to his lips.

"I knew it!" Beverly said enthusiastically. "I have a special sense. But who is the lucky boy?"

Richie looked at the ground awkwardly. "Does it matter? We just kissed to have kissed someone when we were young and hadn't had a first kiss yet." He replied surprisingly serious. "If he doesn't want you to know then you don't need to know."

Somehow this convinced Eddie to hesitantly take a sip from his cup even though Bev would have probably given up after Richie's statement.

She smiled at Eddie fondly as to say that it wasn't something to be embarrassed about.

"We were twelve. We just wanted to see how it felt." He said shyly.

"Sorry guys, it's really none of my bussiness."

No no no, she's getting the wrong idea, Eddie thought. The kiss had not meant anything at all. It had just been a dumb kid thing. He would never have repeated it. "No, but I'm not- not a... y'know what I mean."

"What? You can't even say the word?" Richie asked his friend with offended undertones.

"What?"

"It's the nineties Eddie, no need to be an ass anymore."

"What? Richie, no."

Richie stood up and grabbed his Winstons. "I need some fresh air" he said despite being outside. He disappeared into the dark.

"What just happened?" Ben asked after a few seconds.

"What did I say wrong?" Eddie asked. He looked at Beverly because he felt like she would be the one to know.

But she shrugged. "I guess you sounded a bit... intolerant? And maybe that disappointed him."

"Why? I just said I'm not... I don't have a problem with those who are though."

"Are you sure? Sometimes it's subconsious-"

Eddie stood up. "I'm tired, where can I sleep?"

"In my tent" Beverly said. "I'm coming soon too."

"What was that all about?" Stanley asked in confusion.

She shrugged and followed Eddie with her eyes, a sad look on her face.

Soon they all left to go to sleep. Ben joined Richie in his tent and since Bill's was a bit bigger he shared it with Stanley and Mike.

***

Mike awoke an hour after he had fallen asleep. He sat up and looked at the other two boys next to him. Stan was half hugging Bill who had an arm around him.  
_I feel like I shouldn't be here_, Mike thought smiling. He got out of the tent as quietly as possible.

"Bev?" he whispered in surprise when he saw the girl walking away from her tent in her pijamas.

"Oh, hi. I was just, uhm... going to pee."

"Ohh."

"What are you up to?"

"I think i should switch tent", he said grinning. "My roommates need some alone time." Beverly understood. There was always this certain energy between Bill and Stan. One might call it pining for each other, but no one would have dared to say such thing out loud.

"You can go to mine, but Richie will probably show up there soon."

"What?" he asked confused but she had already continued walking. Wondering he got to her tent. Before going in he turned around again. The girl had opened the zipper to the third tent. Richie's tent. "Ohhh" he whispered to himself now understanding. Then he laid down next to the sleeping Eddie.

"Hey!" Beverly said when she opened Ben's tent. The two boys looked up.

"Oh, Bev! Coming to sweeten our nights?" Richie asked.

"Beeb-beeb Richie" she said smiling. Ben put an arm around her waist when she came in.

"I get it, I get it. I was already on my way out!" Richie said. He took his glasses, his cigarettes and matches and quickly got out of the tent.  
Outside he put his glasses on and lit a cigarette. It was nice and cool outside and he hoped no moskitoes would attack his bare legs (he was in his underwear and a t-shirt).

Without really thinking about it he walked to Beverly's green tent. Then he remembered his unfinished argument with his best friend. He felt his chest ache. In that moment he wanted nothing else but to wake Eddie up, see his face and sit in the dark forest with him, the river and the stars.  
If it was not for his internalised homophobia...  
_Why did your mother have to screw your pure soul up this way?_

That was the thing though, he did not even blame Eddie for his intolerance. It was his damned mother...

He took a breath in and opened Beverly's tent. He was surprised to see Mike inside, but brushed it off. He shook Eddie's sleeping bag until the boy woke up.

"Huh? Is it morning already?" he said confused and half asleep.

"No. Want to smoke a cigarette with me?"

When Eddie realised it was Richie who had woken him up he lost all the weariness in an instant. He knew that Richie knew the answer to that question was always no, so he didn't bother to reply, but he did get out of his sleeping bag and into his sneakers and joined his friend outside.

"Why is Mike in Bev's tent?" he asked Richie when he was standing next to him. He rubbed his eyes.

_Cute! _

"I don't know, but Beverly is in Ben's tent" he replied and took a drag from his cigarette.

"Wait, like...?"

He nodded.

"Oh."

"What? You thought she was going to make out with you tonight?" Richie asked, only half joking. A feeling of jealousy spread through him.

"No! It's obvious those two have something going on. She wouldn't like me."

"Do you _want_ her to like you?" The feeling was getting stronger.

"No. Rich, I'm sorry for whatever I said before..." Eddie changed the topic.

"You don't even know what you said wrong."

"No, but I know I don't want you to be mad at me."

Richie laid an arm around his friend. "Don't worry Eds, you're just too pure for this word."

"Don't treat me like a baby!"

Richie pinched his cheek. "How could I not?"

"Fuck you. I hate you" Eddie replied but didn't even try to free himself from his friend's grip. They stood in silence for a few seconds.

A part of Eddie wanted to know what exactly he had done wrong. Another part subconsiously knew, but most of him just wanted to be in that exact moment with Richie's arm around him.

He broke the silence by sneezing and then cursing. "Crap, if I get sick now my mom will never allow me to leave the house after dark again..."

"We can't allow that to happen! So back to your tent Eddie-Spaghetti."

"I'm going to fucking kill you."

Richie messed his friend's hair up with his hand and let go of him.


	3. Freddie Mercury

They left their camp in the evening of the following day – the last day of summer vacation. Matching the Losers' gloomy moods the sky was filled with grey clouds when they arrived home. Richie decided to take a walk as means of procrastination for getting ready for the school day. It would soon rain and then he would be forced to do it anyways, so why not put it off for a little longer.  
He was already on his second ciggarette when he passed the kissing bridge. He looked around instinctively and seeing no one around he approached the fence of the bridge.

It was still there.

The initials R+E carved into the wood.

He had carved them into the bridge a few years ago as a child. Seeing them caused him to remember his "first kiss" with Eddie which had been at around the same period of time as the creation of the carving. It made him smile and he got a weird sense of nostalgia and a feeling of great distance to his childhood. As a child he had not really understood his feelings for his friend. He had just known he loved making him laugh and he loved his company...  
Had anything changed?  
Yes, they were a few years older. And that just made it that much more complicated. He still had a special bond with Eddie, but it felt different now. For a second he considered re-carving the initials, but that would have just made his feelings more real and in that moment all he wanted was for them to go away.

***

Eddie had actually been preparing his school bag for tomorrow, but as he had looked under his bed searching for his history book he had found his vinyl collection and had gotten distracted from his original task by looking through them. He had gotten all of them from his friends, most were from Richie. He never played them because his mother would be terrified by simply knowing he liked this type of music. Basically _that_ type of music that was not classical music. But that was okay, he liked just knowing he had them and he liked imagining that one day, when he no longer lived at home, he could play them as much as he wanted to.  
A Queen album gifted to him by Richie caught his attention. It sparked a very specific memory. It was the day Freddie Mercury, the singer of Queen, had died in 1991. His mother had been watching the news in TV when his death and cause of death was broadcasted all over the USA. Young Eddie did not care too much. He had been taking his daily medicine in the kitchen as he heard his mother rambling to herself about Freddie Mercury, his death, the cause.  
"Eddie-bear?" she had suddenly called.  
He had finsihed taking his medicine quickly and gone into the living room.  
"What is it ma'?"he had asked.  
"This singer just died because of... the way he lived. He liked men y'know? Not woman like god intented it to be. Eddie-bear, you need to stay away from such people. They will make you sick. Do you understand?"  
Young Eddie nodded, even though he did not in fact understand. He just heard liking men, sick and death and that was enough.  
"Oh no, don't worry, my baby. I will always protect you" his mother said after noticing his terrified expression. She hugged him.  
In that instant he had remembered the kiss with Richie and his heart rate accelerated. Did that mean that kiss could have killed him? Could it _still_ kill him? Was he ill already? He felt sick. He ran to his room and took several drags from his inhalator and started crying.

"How did I never question her..." Eddie whispered to himself. Then he realised tears were running down his face and falling onto the album. He quickly put it back with the other vinyls and dried his tears.

Before his mother had said that to him the though of the kiss had always made his stomach feel ticklish, afterwards it just made him feel sick and scared.

He felt anger boiling up inside of him. Hatred towards his mother. The woman who was constantly manipulating him with fear of the outside world without him realising or resisting her. He always believed all the bullshit that came out of her mouth. And now he was nearly an adult and not much had changed. "Time to think for myself" he whispered and put the vinyls back under his bed.  
The next day, he told himself, he would go to the library and make some research on how Freddie Mercury had actually died and everything related to his death.

***

"Do y-you guys wh-want to c-come to my house?" Bill asked as he and the other Losers left school grounds on Monday. "We can play v-video games."  
"Sure" Ben replied. "But I need to get my homework done first."  
"Yeah, me too" Mike said.  
"Okay, so in an hour at my-my house?"  
"Uhm, I might take a bit longer" Eddie said considering the research he wanted to make.  
"O-okay." Bill swung a leg over his bike. "S-see you later then."

Eddie headed straight to the library. He wanted to get his homework done first to get it over with, but his curiosity was too great now that the computer was so close to him.  
He hesitated before clicking on 'search' after having typed in 'Freddie Mercury cause of death'. Could the librarian see what he was looking for? What would they think? He looked around nervously and then just clicked on the button with closed eyes.  
Absorbed into his research Eddie did not notice how much time was passing. Neither did he notice someone approaching him.  
"Other people would also like to use the computer, young man."  
Eddie flinched and quickly closed the open tab. He turned around to face the librarian. He mumbled an apology and got up. He quickly got all his things together and left the library without having done his homework. But he did not mind in that moment. He felt free.

_I can make my own research. My mother doesn't control what I know and think. I am my own person._

Eddie's smile didn't leave for the rest of the day. He cycled from the library to Bill's house. He was the last one to arrive.

As the other ones were taking terms on playing with Bill's console Eddie was doing his homework on the sofa.  
"How did you take so long to get here and didn't even finish your homework?" Richie asked sitting down next to his friend after his turn. Eddie felt their arms against each other. His heart beat faster.  
"I was, uhm... researching at the library."  
"For fun?" the other asked bewildered.   
Eddie shrugged. "To expand my knowledge on certain topics."  
"Now you just sound like Ben, what happened to you?"  
"Whatever, trashmouth." He hit Richie with his notebook.  
"You love me" Richie said grinning while putting his arms around his neck.  
"I hate you."  
"You dont."  
"I really do."  
"Are you sure?"  
"Yes, very."  
Richie started tickling Eddie's side.  
"Do you still hate me?"  
"I hate you more than ever!" Eddie giggled and hit his friend with his notebook a few times. He then gave up on it and tried pushing him away. "You fucking asshole!"  
Richie tickled him more intensely. While Eddie was leaning away he ended up half lying on the sofa with Richie tickling his belly with one hand and his other resting next to Eddie's head holding his weight.  
"You love me Eds.'  
"Don't call me-" he began, but laughed so hard he couldn't finish the sentence.  
"Get a room tou two!" Stanley called.  
Eddie's face that had already turned pink now turned into a darker shade.  
"You'll be the next, Stanley!" Richie called back. He stopped ticking Eddie but still stayed in the same position for a few seconds. Eddie looked up at him, his stomach feeling as if someone had shaken it.  
"I will stab you if you get close to me."  
Richie leant away and sat back normally.   
Eddie resumed his homework, but found it very hard to concentrate with Richie sitting next to him.  
Richie whose face had just been so close to his own.  
Richie leaning over him...

"I-I need to go to the bathroom." Eddie mumbled and left the room.  
Richie followed him with his eyes.

_Why did you just do that? That totally defeated your purpose to reduce _those _feelings._

_I just can't stop myself, huh?_

_Maybe I should just go home._

When Eddie returned from the bathroom Richie was gone. The other Losers were all staring at the television display. Eddie asked them where Richie was.  
"He just left a second ago" Ben replied.  
"Why?"  
"Don't know."

Eddie jogged to the front door and when he opened it Richie was just jumping onto his bicycle.  
"Rich, wait!"  
"What's up, Eddie-boy?"  
"I just wanted to apologise... for the camping thing."  
"Didn't you already do that?"  
"Yes, but for real now. My mom really fucked me up, basically told me homosexuality kills people."  
"She's really something, huh?"  
"I'm serious, Rich. I'm sorry."  
"It's okay, Eddie-bear."  
"I'm gonna fucking kill you."  
Richie started pedaling very fast. "See you tomorrow, Eddie-Spaghetti!" he shouted while riding away.  
"What an idiot" Eddie whispered to himself and smiled.


	4. Doodles and Punches

Eddie was feeling great. He finally felt like his mother did not control everything he did anymore and he and Richie made up.  
_Richie._  
As he had been trying to fall asleep the night before Richie had dominated his thoughts. And when he had finally fallen asleep his dreams too. He did not remember what his dream had been about exactly, but his friend had been part of it.  
Eddie looked at himself in the mirror in the hallway.  
What did it mean?  
_Nothing, probably._  
_Right?_

He got his school bag and left the house. His third period was biology. As time was passing Eddie's concentration faded more and more.  
Ten minutes before the end of the lesson he had completely stopped listening and his mind had gone blank. By the end of the lesson he had filled an entire page of his notebook with scribbles and doodles. The ringing of the schoolbell brought him back to reality.   
He starred at the page in front of him.  
"Oh fuck!" he whispered to himself when he saw what he had just written in the corner of the page.  
"Richie."  
But the worst thing was the heart around to the name.  
"Shit, shit, shit!"  
Eddie ripped the page out.  
"You okay there?"  
Eddie flinched and looked up at Mike who was standing in front of his desk.  
"Yeah, uhm... it's all good" he replied putting the piece of paper carelessly into his bag together with his notebook and biology book.  
"If you say so."

Together they walked to their lockers where the rest of the Losers were waiting for them.  
"Hey guys!" Beverly said when they arrived. "I just asked the others if they wanted to join me in the park for a ciggarette."  
_Richie will probably come with._  
_So what? I don't care._  
"Sure" Eddie replied instinctively.  
"I need to get some homework done, I have no free period today, but next time."  
"Same w-with me" Bill said and Staley also denied the offer. As Eddie had guesses Richie joined Beverly and so did Ben.

Richie and Beverly sat onto the back of the bench when they arrived in the park. Eddie sat next to him and Ben next to her.  
Eddie watched Richie light his ciggarette.  
_How would it taste to kiss a smoker?_  
Always these damned thoughts coming from nowhere. He looked away again.  
_Shut up brain._

Richie and Beverly began talking about some band they both liked which the other two never listened to.  
_How can I get his attention?  
__I don't need his attention.  
__I still want it though..._  
"Can I have a drag?" Eddie asked without thinking about it. Everyone looked at him in disbelief.  
Richie handed him his ciggarette. "Are you sure? That is really not good for your health."  
"No shit, asshole" Eddie responded and took a furious drag. As expected he started coughing even though he did his best not to, but that just made it worse forcing him to stand up.  
Richie jumped off the bench and got to his friend. "If you feel like puking..."  
"No, no... I'm fine" Eddie replied, his hands still on his knees.  
Richie layed an arm around him when he had stopped coughing. "You better?"  
"Yeah..." Eddie stood upright and Richie stroked his back. He took a drag from his inhalator, partly because of the caughing, partly because of his friend's hand on his back.  
The hand wandered up to his shoulder. "Why did you do that?"  
"I don't know, I guess I was curious." he replied looking up at Richie who was looking at him.  
"If you're gonna kiss I'm gonna puke all over you."  
The two boys looked to the guy who had just spoken. He stood in front of them. They recognised him. He was from their school, one class above them.  
"I was just caughing-" Eddie began.  
Beverly and Ben appeared next to their friends. "Is everything okay, guys?" she asked.  
"If you can stop your friends from being disgusting fags, everything's fine" the oldest replied with a moicking smile.  
"You don't even know our fucking names, what's your deal? Leave us alone" she said.  
"I don't tolerate fags in my town."  
"This is not your fucking town" Richie said stepping closer.  
"Oh, so you're not the denying the fag part?"  
"What if I'm not?" he asked stepping even closer.  
"Don't get close to me, you disgusting piece of shit!" the bully said and pushed Richie away. He was nearly a head taller than him. Richie tumbled back and fell onto his butt.  
"Richie!" Eddie cried out and all of his friends got to his side, "are you okay?"  
Richie didn't respond but jumped to his feet again, he ran towards the boy and pushed him too. "Just leave us alone, what's your problem? Are you braindamaged?"  
"Don't fucking touch me, fag!"  
"Do you maybe have a more creative insult?"  
The boy glared at Richie and after a second of consideration he grabbe his shirt and punched him in the face.  
"Richie!" Eddie cried out again.  
"Get off him!" Ben said and stood next to Richie.  
"Or what, fatty?"  
"Counting probably isn't your thing, so since you didn't notice: it's four against one, fuckface" Beverly said stepping next to the others too.  
The bully glared from one Loser to the other. He pointed at Richie an Eddie in a threatening way. "If I see you being faggots ever again...!" he said and leaving the phrase unfinished he left.  
Eddie ran to Richie who's nose had begun bleeding. "Oh god, Rich. Are you okay?"  
"It's not too bad actually" he replied putting his fingers to his nose and the inspecting the blood on them afterwards. He walked to the bench and sat down.  
Eddie sat next to him. "Wait." He scrambled around in his fanny pack.  
"What a fucking asshole. Why do people always think someone else's life is their bussiness?" Beverly said disgusted. She stroked Richie's arm.  
"We should get you to the school nurse."  
"Nah. It's not that bad, Haystack. Besides, the nurse would just ask stupid questions. Eddie can fix me up" Richie replied grinning. He winked at Eddie who blushed imediately.  
Eddie got a tissue from his fanny pack. "Hold still."  
"Yes, mom."  
He grabbed his friend's face gently with one hand and with the other he carefully dabbed the blood away with the tissue. Richie starred at his concentrated face.  
"What?"  
"Nothing. I need to look somewhere, right?"  
"Of course..." Eddie replied and took his water bottle from his school bag. He opened it and wet the tissue. Then he got the last remains of blood out of Richie's face with it.  
"I'm surprised you didn't use your spit for that like your mom would."  
"Beep-beep." He threw the tissue into the bin. "Rich, I can't really do a lot more. If it hurts a lot I got painkillers, otherwise a cool pad would be good, but I don't happen to carry one around."  
"No need, it's all good now. Actually... maybe a kiss to heal it completely."  
"Beep-beep, trashmouth. Let's get back to school then." Eddie stoop up.  
"Missed opportunity, is all I'm saying, dear" Richie said and put his arm around Eddie.  
The others laughed and they walked back to school.


	5. Movie Night

Friday evening the Losers had all gathered at the Denbrough house. Bill's parents had left for the weekend so he had invited his friends over to stay for the night. It was raining heavily and all of them were sitting in the living room watching the movie 'Edward Scissorhands'. They were already slightly tipsy from the beer they had drunken.

"She's cute. Looks very similar to my first girlfriend!" Richie was just saying pointing at the main female character played by Winona Ryder.  
"Your first and the only one you ever had" Stanley replied.  
"B-but its tr-true, she-she does" Bill responded.  
"Shush guys!" Beverly said.  
"Yeah, the only one because I still haven't recovered from the heartbreak" Richie said dramatically. "She made me a better man and then tore my heart out." His voice was now morphing into a bad English accent.  
"Wasn't that before we got to know each other?" Mike asked.  
"Yeah, why?"  
"So you were like, around the age of, what? Ten?"  
"That doesn't make it less painful."  
The others laughed.  
"It's not like you guys have much going on either though."  
"Pretty sure we all managed to have relationships that lasted over a week, so at least still better than you" Stan said looking at the screen.  
"Pffft. You don't know what happens at all those parties me and Bevvie go to."  
"And w-we d-don't want to."  
"Your loss."  
Eddie stood up and left the room mumbling something about getting a glass of water.  
"That's a good idea" Richie said getting to his feet too.  
"You're just trying to get out of this conversation" Ben grinned.  
"I'm not gonna deny that, Haystack."  
And with that said Richie followed his friend into the kitchen.   
"You okay over there, Eds?" he asked him leaning against the counter with his back.  
"Yeah, just thirsty."  
"Oh. Okay, because you seemed pretty uncomfortable..."  
"Its nothing, just..." Eddie sighted. "That whole relationship talk. Like, I'm seventeen and I've never really gotten far with romantic stuff and less with... you know, sexual stuff..."  
"Don't you know about all those diseases that spread from kissing?" Richie asked mockingly.  
"Fuck off" Eddie said but giggled. He pushed his friend jokingly. Then looked into his eyes with a half smile. "I'm serious."  
Richie stared back. After a quiet few seconds he turned away towards the sink and said, "what do you want me to answer, Eds?" He filled a glass of water for himself too.  
"Nothing, it's impossible to be serious with you."  
There was a weird tension in the air which both could feel.  
"I'm sorry" Richie whispered.  
"Let's go back to the others" Eddie said and took off. Richie followed him.  
They sat next to each other in front of the sofa.

When the movie ended Richie got up and stretched. "I'm going out for a smoke. Wanna come with me Eds?"  
"Its cold and damp outside."  
"Then take a blanket."  
Eddie sighted and grabbed a blanket after asking Bill if he could. Then he followed Richie onto the veranda.  
They sat in front of the door were the rain could not hit them and Richie lit his ciggarette with his matches.  
"I've not gotten very far either by the way."  
"What?"  
"I'm not repeating it" he said staring into the backyard.   
Eddie wrapped the blanket around his shoulders and looked to the front too. They sat there for a while in comfortable silence, listening to the rain.  
Suddenly Richie felt something touching his hand. At first he thought it was an insect and he was about to pull his hand away, but then he realised it were Eddie's fingers. Two of _Eddie's_ thin fingers were on _his_ hand. He looked at his friend in surprise, but his eyes were not moving away from the backyard and his head was slightly turned away from Richie.  
Richie moved his fingers to grab his and then turned his hand around to grab his hand. He squeezed it gently.  
Both of their hearts began pounding quicker.  
"Eddie?" Richie broke the silence. He put his ciggarette out.  
"Hm?" Eddie asked shyly and looked at his friend.  
"I can be serious if you need me to" Richie whispered.  
"You know you can't" Eddie said smiling.  
Richie leaned toward Eddie slowly. His left had supporting him as the right moved to cup his friend's cheek. Then he hesitantly moved closer to him and linked their lips.  
After a second he moved away and whispered: "Completely serious."  
Eddie didn't know what was happening. Breathing became harder causing him to have the urge to get his inhalator, but he managed to resist the urge.  
"Sure?" he asked, his voice breaking.  
"Yes."  
"Then do it again, coward", he said grinning.  
_What __did__ I just say? __Who's__ saying __this__? __Since__ when-_  
"You sure you don't mind the germs?"  
He shook his head.  
Richie joined their lips again and then moved his against Eddie's. Eddie opened his eyes in surprise for a moment. He closed them again and tried to imitate Richie's movements until they were in sync.  
Richie's hands moved down to his waist and he felt his blood pulsating through his body, it was a nice feeling. Eddie placed his hands on Richie's shoulders.  
When they separated Richie said "we need to repeat this."  
Eddie stared at him. Richie gave him another short kiss and then stood up. He held his hand out to help him up. "But now we should get back inside before we catch a cold or the others begin wondering what were up to."  
Eddie took his hand and got up. "I didn't- It's not because I'm drunk."  
"Not because of me being drunk either, darling."  
"What's wrong then?"  
"Nothing, I just thought we could take it slow and make it work", Richie replied brushing out a strand of hair from Eddie's face.  
"Wow."  
"What?"  
"You're... not joking."  
"I like you, Eds."  
"Don't call me-"  
Eddie was interrupted by Richie's lips pressing against his.  
"I like you too, Rich" he said smiling after the kiss.  
_See, ma? I can kiss a boy without getting __sick__ and dying. And I will do it again, as often as I can, ha!_  
Richie pinched Eddie's cheek and then they entered the house again to join their friends for the second movie.  
They sat next to each other again, but now Richie grabbed Eddie's hand under the blanket.  
Eddie felt his stomach turn, but in a very nice way. He had no idea what happened in the second movie.

***

After the third movie everyone was tired so they got into their sleeping bags in Bill's room. Eddie's sleeping bag was not far away from Richie's.   
"Richie?" he whispered so that only the other could hear.  
"Yes?"  
"Is this... wrong?"  
"Does it feel wrong?" Richie asked.  
"No. But my mother says it is. Don't your parents say that too? Their bible say so, right?"  
"I don't know. But I know that god loves everyone, as long as you don't kill people, I guess. Why would it matter to him who you like? Also god might not even exist, so who's he to make up dumb rules?"  
That answer satisfied Eddie and he closed his eyes with a smile on his lips.


	6. Pillow Fight

The next day Richie was the last one to wake up. Weak sunrays were filling the room. As he slowly opened his eyes he soon realised his head was aching. After he sat up and found the room to be deserted he let himself fall onto his pillow again.  
"Ugh" He said as he burried his face in his hands. "I want to sleep all day." He grumbled and closed his eyes.  
"Finally, you're awake."  
"Huh?" Richie opened his eyes again and sat up.  
Mike had come into the room.  
"We're all downstairs if you want to join. We're making breakfast." He said. After a look at his watch he added: "Or better brunch."  
Richie looked at Bill's clock. It was twenty past twelve.  
Mike shrugged. "If you want to call it lunch..."  
"I'm coming in a moment."  
He gave him a nod and took a pair of white socks out of his bag. After putting them on he left again and Richie got out of his sleeping-bag. He was wearing yesterday's shirt and boxershorts. He quickly got into his jeans and put his glasses on and then jogged to the kitchen.

Everyone was there and gave him a good morning greeting.  
"Can hardly call it morning." He replied. He looked at what the others were cooking.  
Ben was making eggs, Stan was cutting tomatoes, Beverly was standing next to the toaster waiting for the bread and the others were making the table.  
"This looks delicious, guys. But I feel way too sick to eat it." Richie said and took a piece of white toast. He bit into it.  
"You p-probably got the w-worst hh-hangover out of all of us." Bill stated as he was putting milk on the table.  
Richie shrugged.  
"Do you even remember much?"  
"Most actually." He replied to Stan's question with a full mouth. "At least I think so." His eyes wandered to Eddie and stayed on him briefly. He was setting the table and Richie noticed that he was avoiding eye contact with him. He ignored that fact and looked over Ben's shoulder.  
"You can cook? What can you not do? You're real husband material, Haystack" he said putting his hands on his shoulders. "Bevvy, how haven't you married him yet?"  
"I ask myself that too."  
Ben's face turned bright red. Richie sat down at the table, a satisfied grin on his face.  
Everyone else sat down too and they began eating. When they were finished Eddie was the first to stand up.   
"Guys I'm sorry, but I should get going home. My-"  
"Mom, we know. D-don't whu-worry Eddie. See you on Monday" Bill interrupted him.  
Eddie smiled at him thankfully and then went back into his room to get his bag. As he was putting his pyjama into it, the door behind him opened.  
"Eddie-boy!"   
He flinched. "Fuck, Rich. Don't scare me like that!"  
Richie sat onto the floor next to his friend.  
"Why are you avoiding me?"  
"I'm not" Eddie replied staring at his bag.  
"You're not even looking at me right now."  
Eddie turned to face him. "I just didn't want to raise suspicion."  
"Then treat me like you always did. That's less suspicious."  
"But that's hard..."  
"I know. We'll tell them eventually..." Richie said putting his hand on his friend's cheek.  
"For now a little secret is nice too though" Eddie said smiling. He put his hand on top of the other's and leaned forward to kiss him.  
"I'm not complaining" Richie said grinning and kissed him again.  
"Someone might come in..."  
Richie fell onto his back and groaned.  
"Why couldn't I like a girl?"  
"Because no girl would ever take you."  
"You...!" Richie cried. He grabbed a pillow and smacked it into Eddie's face.  
Eddie fell back and got a pillow too. He hit Richie back and both started giggling. They began having a pillow fight.   
"Uhm... guys?" a voice suddenly said.  
Both flinched and looked at the door from where the voice had come from. Beverly stood in the frame.  
"Oh, hi" Richie said pushing his glasses up which had slided down his nose during the fight.  
"We were just wondering what you were up to, since Eddie wanted to leave..."  
"Yes. I was just about to." Eddie took his bag and stood up.  
"I'll bring you home" Richie said standing up too.  
_That is suspicious, idiot. But denying the offer would be more suspicious..._  
Eddie walked past Bev and left the room followed by Richie.   
The said goodbye to the other Losers and left.  
"We shouldn't be together every chance we get, Richie. The others will-" Eddie began as they started walking.  
"Get suspicious, I know, I know. Just let me have it today. Not even a day has passed since the first kiss. Don't sweat it" Richie interrupted pinching his cheek.  
"Technically it has been four years" Eddie said smiling.   
"And no one has noticed anything since then, so don't worry."  
"You're right. Sorry, I guess I'm just... scared."  
Richie didn't know what to answer. _Don't be scared. It's gonna be okay._ But that would be a lie. If they would show affection in public chances were they would get insulted or beaten up. It's really fucking unfair, but is is how it is...  
So he stayed silent and brushed his hand against his friend's as they were walking.  
_We're the only ones on this street. What are the chances of someone looking out the window now?_ Eddie thought to himself and slung two of his slim fingers around two of Richie's. They smiled at each other while they were walking.  
When they were close to the Kaspbrak home Eddie pulled his hand away. They stopped and turned to face each other.  
"Goodbye, Rich."  
"Goodbye, Eds" Richie said and held his hand out. Eddie grinned and took it. They shook hands and then Eddie walked the last few meters to his house. At the front door he turned around once more to smile at Richie who was still standing on the same spot and looking at him. He smiled back and his friend disappeared behind the door.


	7. Bruises and Bandaids

Eddie was woken up by the sound of something hitting glass. In his sleepy state it took him a while to locate where the sound was coming from.  
The window.  
_Obviously_.   
Something was hitting his window. Probably small rocks.  
"What the..." he whispered to himself. He sat up in bed and rubbed his eyes.  
_Oh God, what if it's a burglar._  
_Why would he throw stones at your __window__?_  
He tiptoed to his window and carefully looked outside. His heart rate increased rapidly within a second. Someone was standing in front of the house looking up at him in the middle of the night. He could only make out a silhouette.   
He opened the window. "What the hell are you doing here?" he whispered as loud as possible.   
"Uhm... I kinda need help."  
"What happened?"  
"The guy from the park from two weeks ago... he kinda got me when I was alone."  
"What? Richie, do you mean-"  
"I got beaten up, yes."   
"Oh fuck, oh shit!" Eddie whispered. "Wait a second."  
His mother had gone to bed already so he walked downstairs on his tiptoes trying not to wake her up. He quietly opened the front door.  
"Oh fuck, Richie."  
His friend had a bleeding nose again, but apart from that also abrasions on his elbows and a cut on the cheek and on his bottom lip.  
"Yeah, it's not pretty" Richie said seeing Eddie's shocked expression. "That's why I didn't wanna go home like this and your house was closer..."  
"Come in already."  
Eddie walked to the bathroom with him. When they were inside he locked the door and then turned a dim lighting on.  
First he cleaned all the blood from the wounds away as Richie watched his concentrated eyes, the slight frown on his face, the freckles on his nose...  
_He's__ so beautiful._  
He then opened a cupboard that was filled with medicine of all sorts. He scrambled some of it together.  
"I know this is gonna be extremely hard for you, but you're gonna need to be quiet or my mother will make you look worse than this."  
"I'll give my best, Eddie-bear."  
"Sooo, this is gonna hurt so bite a towel or something."  
"I think I can stand it. You know I'm manly like no one else."  
"You really aren't."  
"Yeah... maybe not-ow!"  
"Pssht! I fucking told you-"  
"Sorry, sorry."  
Eddie had put disinfectant on the wounds on his arms. When the desinfectant touched the cut on his cheek Richie grabbed Eddie's arm in a reflex and flinched.  
"It's nearly over."  
"You should become a nurse or something."  
Eddie grinned.  
"No, for real!"  
Eddie turned away and got plasters.  
"Shut up, I need to put one on your lip" Eddie said blushing.  
He carefully put a little plaster on Richie's bottom lip who's cheeks were also turning pink. Then he put a plasters on the remaining wounds.  
"Thank you, Eds."  
"No problem. We don't want to worry your parents. Does it hurt a lot?"  
_I'm sure they wouldn't worry too much..._  
"No, it's fine. I'm sorry for just coming here and expecting you to take care of me."  
"I could've just ignored you if it annoyed me."  
"But you didn't."  
"No, I didn't. Of course not. You got beaten up because of me."  
"Because of you?"  
"You know, I smoked, caughed, you put an arm around me" Eddie said and looked to the side shyly, "the guy thought you were gay and punched you. All because I smoked, basically."  
Richie thought about it for a second and then said "It's only his fault for being an ass, what about that?" putting his hand on his shoulder.  
Eddie smiled. "Yeah, I guess that's true."  
The hand wandered up to his cheek.  
"Can I kiss you?"  
"Why are you asking?"  
"Because there's a disgusting germ filled cut on my lip."  
"Can't be worse than your mouth" Eddie grinned and lent forward to link his lips to Richie's while his hand wandered through his brown hair and stopped at the back of his head.  
When they separated Eddie turned away and opened the door as quietly as possible, he looked around and left the room followed by Richie. They walked to the kitchen where Eddie opened the freezer and took out cool aid.  
"That's not necessary, Eds. We got that at home, I'll just-"  
"No. You need to use it now if you don't want to get a big dark bruise on your cheek."  
"Oh, okay. Thanks."  
Eddie walked upstairs followed by his friend. They walked into his room. When they were inside Eddie locked the door with a self attached lock that had caused a great discussion with his mother.  
"Oh wow, _you_ have a lock?"  
"Yeah, my mother nearly killed me for it" he said smiling.  
"I can imagine" Richie replied letting himself fall onto the bed. "She's a very special woman."  
"Fuck you" Eddie replied sitting down next to his friend. He watched him stare at the ceiling. After a few seconds he turned his head and looked at his him.  
"My cheek is freezing off" Richie said.  
Eddie grinned and laid down next to him.  
"Put a piece of the blanket between your cheek and the cool pad."  
"What would I do without you, Eddie-Spaghettie?"  
"Die, probably and if you continue calling me that way you'll die in this reality too."  
He looked at him grinning.  
_Stay._  
_I don't want you to leave tonight._   
"How long do I have to do this for?"  
"I dont know."  
Silence filled the room, but it was the comfortable kind.  
Richie turned to lay on his side to face Eddie. Eddie turned his head to look at him.  
"Did I ever tell you you're cute as hell?" Richie asked  
"Yes. Even before the kiss."  
"That's true. But now I mean it on a romantic level."  
Eddie smiled. "Thanks, I suppose. You're good looking."  
"I know."  
"Fuck you" he said laughing.  
When the laughter had died out Richie put his hand on his cheek and stroked his hair with his fingers.  
"Is it worth it?" Eddie asked, his expression changing into a worried one.  
"What?"  
"Getting beaten up because of... us."  
"Even if we weren't a thing, I would still be who I am. They would still punch me so I might as well take the chance and be able to kiss the cutest boy on earth while I'm on this ride. I'm just scared you'll get hurt... That wouldn't be worth it."  
"It would."  
Richie leaned towards the other and kissed him.  
When their lips parted he remained in the same position, his arm holding his head up, the other hand in Eddie's hair.  
"This shitty town is fucked up. As soon as I finish school I'm gonna get the fuck away. And I'm forcing you to leave too, even if it's not with me" Richie said.  
"I'll come with voluntarily."  
"That's a relief" he replied grinning and gave Eddie a short kiss again.  
"Can you stay here tonight? And I don't know, jump out the window before ma wakes up or something."  
"Sure" he responded. He put his hand on Eddie's waist and pressed his lips against his softly. Eddie felt his heart rate accelerate from the touch. He cupped Richie's cheeks.  
"We've got school tomorrow we should..." Eddie began when they separated after a while. RIchie gave him a nod.  
Eddie sat up and got under the blanket. He turned the light off and gave Richie a short kiss of good night. They fell asleep after a few minutes, Richie's arm around Eddie's waist.


	8. Studying and Hammocks

Eddie was woken up by the ringing of his alarm. He sat up quickly and looked to his right where Richie was laying who was slowly opening his eyes. Then he looked to his left at his alarm clock.   
"Oh shit, oh fuck!" he whispered and jumped out of the bed.  
"What is it?" Richie asked wearily turning onto his back.  
"It's six already, my mom is awake. You need to get out!"  
Richie got out of bed and put his sweater on.  
"In sorry, but you'll have to get out through the window" Eddie said opening the window.  
Richie slung his arms around his waist from behind and kissed his neck.  
"See you later, babe" he said letting go.  
"Be careful."  
"Dont worry, I've jumped out a lot of windows" he replied and got into the frame.  
"No, I mean be careful that she doesn't see you."  
"Wow, I feel loved."  
"Get out already" Eddie said cupping his face. He kissed him.  
"You're making it very hard, babe" Richie responded grinning. He got out the window, climbed down the side of the house and let himsel fall onto the grass. He looked up at Eddie again and waved at him before walking away.  
_Babe..._  
_Did he just..._  
_...call me babe..._  
_Babe. Babe. Babe._  
_Oh my god._  
Eddie smiled to himself and closed the window.  
"Eddie-bear!" the voice of his mother tore him away from his thoughts and threw him back into reality.  
"Yes, I'm getting dressed!" Eddie shouted back at her and opening the lock on his door.

***

Richie went home, changed his outfit and brushed his teeth. His parents had not noticed his absence, or if they had they did not care about it. When he was ready he left for school.  
When approaching the school steps he spotted a familiar head. "Stan. Stan, the man!" he said putting an arm around his friend.  
"What's up trashmo- what the hell happened to your face?"  
"Henry Bowers wasn't the only asshole at this school."  
"That's true... Have you studied for math yet?" Stanley asked as they entered the school.  
"Nah, we still have three days until the test."  
"So, you'll start tomorrow at eleven PM?"  
"You really get me, dear."  
They arrived at their lockers where Eddie and and Bill were already standing talking to each other.  
"Hey, Billy-boy, Eds" Richie said when they joined them. Eddie blushed when he saw him.  
_Babe_.  
"G-guys, whu-we were just talking about the math t-test-"  
"You too, Billy? You've disappointed me" Richie said leaning against the lockers.  
"O-okay, you're off the list. C-could you study wh-whith us S-stan? I know yuh-you d-don't have the test, but you're still better than us."  
"Sure."  
"Eddie let's get away from these nerds" Richie said putting an arm around Eddie and pulling him with him.  
"You're the one who gets an A at the end. Besides that I'm also gonna study with them, you know?" Eddie said blushing deeper.  
"You get a second chance."  
"Richie we're in public, don't do that arm thing..."  
"But I always did that" he said letting go of his friend.  
"Yeah, but now... it's different."  
"Little flustered baby."  
"Richie!" Eddie said angrily. He sighted. "Let's get to class already."  
They entered their english class room and sat down on their usual seats next to each other.  
In the middle of the class Richie tapped his friend on the shoulder and when he turned to him he gave him a note. It read "wanna hang out after school?" Eddie replied: "I told you I'm studying with Bill and Stan"  
"Maybe you should leave those two alone, if you know what I mean" Richie told Eddie after class.  
"But if we hang out we're gonna study."  
"Lame... but if that's the condition."

***

When school finished Richie told his friend he had an idea where to go to. Eddie following his lead they began walking towards the creek and down to the barrens.  
"I dont really remember where exactly..." he mumbled as they were walking past the trees.  
"Oh, our old clubhouse."  
"Yep."  
After a while they found the clearing and saw that the trapdoor was open.  
"What the..."  
They slowly approached the hole in the ground as fear spread through their bodies.  
"H-hello?" Richie asked when they were close enough.  
Suddenly two heads popped up through the hole.  
"You scared the shit out of us!" Eddie called when he recognised Bill and Stanley.  
"What the hell are you doing here?"  
"We're studying" Stan replied. "What about you guys?"  
"We also wanted to study here..." Eddie said.  
A short awkward silence fell over the four.  
"Uhm so, sh-should we all study together th-then?" Bill asked looking from one friend to the other.  
"Do we even all fit in there anymore?"  
"As if you grew that much, Trashmouth" Stan replied. He got out of the hole. "But I'm going home, you have your fun down there. I've seen enough spiders for the day."  
"B-but you were in the muh-middle of explaining suh-something."  
Stan shrugged. "You can come with me and we can continue."  
"S-sure."  
"What about you?" he asked turning towards the other two.  
"We wanted to visit the club house. Maybe we'll come by later?" Richie replied.  
"O-okay"  
Stanley and Bill left while Richie helped Eddie climb down into the hole. He followed.  
"Wow. How did we all fit in here?" Eddie asked looking around the small space.  
The clubhouse was about 2x2 meters wide and the ceiling was a little higher than 1.60 meters so that the two friends had to crouch.  
"The hammock is still here!" Richie noticed and sat onto it.  
"Remeber how you didn't want to get off it so I just squeezed in when I wanted to use it?"  
"And then we got used to it and always sat in it together" Richie grinned. "Being an annoying little bitch gets you what you want apparently."  
"I am the annoying bitch?" Eddie asked offended and then laughed. The same way he used to do it as a child he tried to get onto the hammock too.  
"Your fat ass is gonna break it!"  
Somehow it actually worked and the two ended up half sitting and half laying on it, Eddie's legs on top of Richie's.   
"I said you were annoying but I loved it when you joined me on the hammock."  
"Hm, I would've preferred having it for myself for once" Eddie said.  
"You little shit!" Richie exclaimed and began trying to throw Eddie off.  
His friend began laughing and tried to get Richie away from him. The physics of the hammock only allowed such thing for about a second before the hammock turned and both feel onto the ground, Richie on top of his friend. They both burst out into laughter.  
Then Eddie grabbed Richie's face and pressed his lips on his gently.   
_Wow, Eds..._  
Richie's free hand - the one he was not using to support himself above Eddie - wandered to his waist. Then he slowly slid a finger under his shirt.  
Their lips separated and Eddie stroked Richie's cheek.  
"We should get studying" Eddie said after a short silence.  
Richie groaned and sat up. "My boyfriend sucks, I want an exchange."  
_My boyfriend..._  
Eddie sat up and looked at him. "Boyfriend?"  
"Oh sorry, is this just a fling? Didn't wanna make things awkward" Richie said mockingly as he stood up. He helped his friend stand up too by giving him his hand. Eddie tried to get as much dirt off his clothes as possible.  
"It sounds nice" he said smiling at his _boyfriend_.   
Richie smiled back and then crouched down to his rucksack.  
"What do you think the others would think?" Eddie asked hesitantly.   
"I don't know, I dont think they would have a problem. We're all losers anyways."  
"Should we maybe... y'know, tell them?"  
"If you're comfortable enough."  
"Are you?"  
Richie turned to face him and put a hand on his cheek. "I would love to show you off, Eds" he said and kissed him. Eddie wrapped his arms around his waist.  
"I wish we wouldn't need to study..." he whispered staring at the other's lips.  
"You're the one insisting."  
"I know, 'cause it's a very important test..."  
"Let's just reward ourselves after every chapter" Richie said grinning.   
"Sounds like a plan" Eddie grinned back and kissed him again.


	9. Taking the Leap

"Let's talk weekend plans!" Beverly said when she sat down at the cafeteria table with her food tray and Ben at her side.  
The rest of the Losers Club was already sitting at it.  
"Ha-have you got suh-something in mind?"  
"Yes. Since it's probably the last warm weekend we could go for a swim at the quarry. We could have a picnic and bring a radio."  
"Sounds fun" Eddie replied.  
_Richie__only__ in bathing trunks. _  
His cheeks flushed and he stared down at his food.  
"I could bring the radio" Richie said.  
"I'll bring snacks, could someone make sandwiches?" Beverly asked.  
Suddenly someone hit the back of Eddie's head. He looked up and the kid who had beaten up Richie a few days ago walked passed their table with a friend at his side. Richie moved upwards indicating that he waned to stand up.  
"Rich, don't!" Eddie said and grabbed his friend's arm to stop him from finishing the action. He sat back down.  
"Yeah, hold your faggot friend back. Last time he didn't look too pretty" the bully said with an evil grin. Richie looked back at him gloomily. Eddie saw in his eyes that he was still tempted to stand up and confront the boy.  
"If you stand up, I'm not gonna stitch you back together again!"  
Richie looked back at his food and the bully disappeared with his friend.  
"Are you okay, Eddie?" Beverly asked.  
"Yes, I'm fine."  
"That's the same guy from a few weeks ago, right?" Ben said.  
"What happened there, guys?" Mike asked concerned.  
"When we went out in the break this guy punched Richie" Ben said.  
"Just like that?" Stan asked.  
"I was coughing and Richie put an arm around me, that triggered that asshole..." Eddie said looking to the side shyly.  
"And then he got me when I was alone, that's why I look like this" Richie replied pointing at his brusied face and smiling awkwardly.  
"The nuh-new Bowers, huh?"  
"It's this fucking town. One Henry after the other" Richie said. "It's like a curse."

***

On Saturday evening the seven friends all walked to the quarry together.They left all their things on a rock by the water.  
Beverly took her dress off. "So, who dares to jump off the cliff with me?"  
All of her friends avoided eye contact and awkwardly looked around.  
"Cowards" she said grinning. She turned around and walked away to make the jump.  
"Bev, wait!"   
Ben had stood up.  
"You wanna join?" she asked and held her hand out.  
He smiled nodding and took it.  
Richie pushed his glasses up as he followed the two with his eyes. "I would go too, but I wouldn't want to be a cockblock, y'know?"  
"That is so tuh-totally an excuse."  
"Oh, yes?" Riche said standing up. He took his t-shirt off and followed his two friends.  
Eddie stared at his nacked upper body and blushed.  
_Fuck, fuck, fuck. This is not going to end well..._  
"Let's all go" Mike said standing up too. "Like we did as kids."  
Bill stood up followed by Eddie and Stanley. And so all seven of them stood at the cliff a few minutes later and looked down.  
"It's really fucking high..." Eddie said.  
"No shit, sherlock" Richie replied and Eddie gave him a glare.  
"Must be over six meters" Ben remarked.  
"Okay, give me some space to run" Beverly said and took some steps back. The rest of the Losers got out of her way. She ran a few steps and then jumped off without hesitation.  
"That girl's insane" Stan whispered.   
"She's amazing" Ben said in awe.  
"You should jump next to impress her, Haystack" Richie said pattig his back.  
"I-I don't want to impress her!" Ben replied defensively. He shot a look at Bill. "But I'll try."  
He took a few steps back, took a few breaths in and out and started running. Before jumping he pressed his eyelids shut.  
The rest of the friends looked down when they heard the splash.  
"You did it!" Beverly called when Ben emerged from the water.  
He grinned widely and proudly.   
She swam towards him and hugged him. He blushed. The hug only worked a few seconds before Ben swallowed water and the two of them burst out into laughter.  
The next to jump was Bill. After him Mike came.  
"Okay, Trashmouth, weren't you eager to jump before?" Stanley asked.  
"I can wait, dear. I need to motivate my boy Eds to jump."  
"I hate you."  
Stand sighted. When he had jumped too Richie turned to Eddie.  
"I just wanted some privacy."  
"You're just a pussy" Eddie replied grinning.  
Richie grabbed his waist and pulled him close. Their naked upper bodies touched which made Eddie shiver. His heart rate increased rapidly. Richie leant down to kiss him which did not better the situation. Eddie grabbed his face and pulled it closer. He felt how Richie smiled into the kiss. His hands moved around his naked upper body which made every inch of his body tingle, particularly in the area below his abdomen.  
_Fuck, shit, fuck! What are __you__ trying to do, Rich?_  
"Uhm, I'm gonna jump before they get suspicious" Eddie said quickly after the kiss. He turned away, trying very hard for Richie to only see the back of him. Then he jumped quickly without hesitation nor a sprint.  
_What the..._  
_Eds __did you just..._  
When he could Richie jumped too.  
"Why the hu-hell did you tuh-take so long?" Bill asked when Richie and Eddie had joined their friends in the water.   
They looked at each other blushing.  
"Uh-uhm, well..." Eddie began.  
"Cause they were scared, probably" Stan replied.  
"Eds was, so I had to perform a little motivational speech."  
Eddie splashed him with water. "I was not, asshole! You were the scared one!"  
Richie splashed back so Eddie tried to submerge his face into the water.  
"You guys are like an old married couple" Ben grinned.  
"They really are!" Mike exclaimed while Eddie continued trying to drown his boyfriend. He let go off him laughing when he began chocking.  
"Wouldn't it be so weird if they dated someone else?" Beverly asked looking at the others.  
"Oh, I could never get such a cutie" Richie said pinching his boyfriend's cheek.   
"I hate you."  
"You sound just like my parents" Stan said and everyone began laughing.  
"About that..." Richie began when the laughter died out. He glanced at Eddie who gave him a nod. "The old Eds and I have kind of being having... an affair, if you know what I mean."  
Eddie groaned and splashed water at him again. "That's not what I meant by telling them!"  
"Dear, you know I crack jokes. That's what I do."  
"Whu-wait, so is it true or not?" Bill asked.  
The couple exchanged looks. "Not an affair, of course... But we're kinda..." Eddie replied looking down. He took a deep breath in. "We're a couple."  
There was a short silence in which their hearts beat faster than ever and Eddie had the urge to cry.  
"That's great guys!" Beverly said smiling at them.  
"Forreal?" Richie asked surprised. A huge sense of relief spread through his body. No dirty secret anymore, no hidden shame. Not in front of his friends at least.  
"Yeah, we're happy for you!" Ben said.  
"You sound like proud parents" Richie replied grinning.   
"We're glad you could tell us" Mike smiled.  
Stan only gave them an approving smile, but that was his way of showing affection and acceptance and they could not have asked for more.  
"Yuh-yeah. Losers stick together. And if th-that asshole ever touches you again, we'll prepare for the next rock fight."  
Everyone laughed.  
A flood of happiness spread through Richie and Eddie. They smiled at each other, tears in their eyes._ We have the best friends_, both thought.


	10. Losers and Lovers

"So" Beverly began when all of the Losers had dried up and were sitting around a small fire by the water. "How long has this been going on without us knowing?"  
She looked at Richie and and Eddie who were sitting next to each other in front of her.  
Richie put his arm around his boyfriend and kissed him on the cheek. He thought it would take a longer while for them to be comfortable enough to show affection in front of their friends, but just after an hour it already felt like the most natural thing on earth.  
"For about three weeks" he replied. Eddie nodded and smiled at him.  
"Oh, get a room!" Stan said and threw a packet of crisps at Richie.  
"You're just jealous you don't have such a cute boyfriend" he responded taking the packet and opening it.  
"We finally have the classic annoying couple in our group" Mike laughed.  
"We always had it, just without the kissing" Stan commented.  
"That is true! We really should've known" Beverly said.  
Eddie smiled at Richie and in that moment they felt nothing but happiness. He did not want to annoy his friends but he could not hold himself back from giving Richie a quick kiss. Everything felt so right.

As the sun disappeared behind the trees the Losers began packing up. When they were finished Richie and Beverly each put on a ciggarette and the friends began walking.  
"Hey, Rich."  
"Hm?" Richie asked turning to Eddie who appeared beside him.  
"Could I maybe stay at yours? I don't want to go home."  
"Of course, Eds. My parents won't mind" he replied taking his boyfriend's hand with his free one.  
_My parents never mind about anything._  
_No. That doesn't matter __right__ now._  
He looked at Eddie, his face glowing in the fading sunlight and he smiled.  
_Only he does._  
Who needs parents who care when you have got great friends and the most lovely boyfriend?

When the two of them entered the Tozier home Richie quickly asked his parents if Eddie could stay for the night and Eddie thanked them when they said yes. Then they went into Richie's room.  
"Today was great" Eddie said as he was taking off his shoes whilst sitting on Richie's bed.  
"It was. Our friends are the best" Richie responded sitting down next to him. He went through his hair with his hand and kissed his forehead.   
"They are" Eddie said and having finished taking off both of his shoes he turned to his friend. He leaned forward, cupped his cheeks and linked their lips.  
"Eds" Richie whispered when they separated.  
Eddie looked at him and noticed tears in his eyes. "Oh no, what's wrong?"  
"I'm just happy" he said, his voice trembling.  
Eddie smiled and his eyes became watery too. "Me too, dumbass." He let go of his face and tried brushing a few tears out of his face.  
"Eddie..." Richie needed to pause to collect himself for a second as Eddie watched him curiously tears running down his face. He stroked his cheek. "I love you."  
For a few seconds Eddie starred at him wide eyed. Then noticeably more tears began running down his cheeks. "I love you too, idiot" he said and began sobbing uncontrollably. He kissed Richie anyways grabbing his face clumsily. A salty tasting kiss from the tears covering their faces. But a beautiful kiss nontheless. Both were smilig into the kiss so it did not last very long.  
Then they smiled at each other and hugged for various minutes until they stopped crying.  
"We're very manly" Eddie giggled brushing the last tear out of his face.  
"Extremely" Richie laughed. Then he stood up took his shoes off. Then his jumper and t-shirt and at last his trousers. Eddie watched him as he put on his pyjama.  
"Do you need something to sleep in?" Richie asked when he noticed his gaze.  
"Yeah, kinda..." _but __that's__ not why __I__ was staring._  
He turned around again and scrambled through his drawers. He got out a t-shirt out smelled it and threw it to his friend. "I hope that's washed."  
"You're disgusting" Eddie scoffed but changed into the shirt.  
"But you love me with all my flaws" Richie replied grinning and kissed his cheek.  
"More like despite your flaws."  
"You can go back home and cuddle with your mom anytime you want, dear" he said getting into bed and putting his glasses on his night stand.  
Eddie crawled in next to him and kissed him. Richie put his arm around him.  
"I don't want it to lose meaning, but just say it once more, please" he whispered.  
"You mean that I love you?"  
"Yes."  
"I love you" Eddie whispered going through Richie's hair with his hand. "I love you, I love you, I love you. And it doesn't lose meaning no matter how often I say it."  
"I love you too" Richie replied smiling and putting his other arm around Eddie's waist.  
Exhausted from the day at the lake their eyes soon closed and the two of them fell into a deep sleep.

Eddie was woken up by the sun shining through the window. He blinked lazyly and saw Richie's face in front of his. He smiled as he looked at his boyfriend who was still asleep.  
He wanted to touch his cheek and kiss him, but he looked so peaceful and happy he did not want to wake him up.  
"I love you" he whispered.  
Richie mumbled something and Eddie got a bit closer to him. He could not hold himself back and took his hand under the blanket, and stroked it with his thumb.   
Richie's eyes slowly opened and smiled when they met with Eddie's. He put his arm around Eddie's waist and pulled him close.  
"Good morning, darling" he said and kissed his forehead.  
"Good morning" Eddie mumbled and snuggled even closer "Let's stay in bed all day."  
"It's sunday, babe, we can do whatever we want."  
"Well then it's decided."  
Richie went through Eddie's hair with his fingers.  
"I like your plan."  
"Don't stop doing that."  
He messed Eddie's hair up and hugged him with both of his arms. "Aw, my needy little baby" he giggled rocking him in his arms. Then he kissed him on the forehead, on the temple and on the cheek. He wanted to kiss him on the lips too but he turned away and pushed Richie away with his arms.  
"I hate you" Eddie said but started giggling when Richie kissed his neck. "Fuck you."  
"Fuck you more" Richie laughed and kissed his jaw.  
Eddie turned his face back to him and cupped his cheeks. Richie was leant over him and they locked eyes. They stared at each other in silence for a while. They looked at every detail in each others faces and Eddie stroked Richie's cheek with his thumb. Then they slowly leant into each other. They linked their lips Richies hand on Eddie's waist. Their lips moved slowly as Richie's fingers moved under Eddie's shirt.  
Suddenly Eddie began laughing.  
"What's wrong?"  
"That tickles."  
"Fuck you" Richie said grinning. He slowly moved his hand under the rim of Eddie's shirt keeping eye contact.  
Eddie tried very hard not to laugh. But then Richie began actively tickling his stomach and Eddie burst out laughing trying to get Richie's hands off him.  
"I hate you!"  
"You take your "I love you"s back?"  
"Yes, all of them."  
Richie stopped and kissed his cheek.  
"Did you get scared there?" Eddie giggled.  
"Do you want me to continue?"  
"With the kissing, yes. Not the tickling, thank you."  
Richie's lips wandered to his neck and began kissing it.  
_Oh shit, _Eddie thought. It felt better than he had expected. Before he knew it was happening a faint moan escaped his lips. He put his hand on his mouth in shock and his cheeks gained a pink colour.  
Richie let out a muffled laugh. "Don't worry, honey."  
Eddie turned his face away. "Don't give me a hickey. My mom-"  
"Will kill you."  
"But like, forreal this time."  
"I know... I fucking know" Richie said and sat up on the bed.  
"Why are you mad at me?"  
"I'm not, Eds. I mad at the world. I just want to give you hickeys, hold your hand in public, kiss every inch of your dumb face..." he said looking away.  
"I want that too, but we have to accept that it's not possible. Focus on right now. We're here, we could stay in bed aml day. We can do whatever we want, just not in public" Eddie said grabbing Richie's face.  
"Can you just accept that?"  
"I can if the other option is getting beaten up. Richie, I dont want you to get hurt. If you do, I'm gonna kill you."  
Richie laughed and smiled at Eddie. "You're the best thing that ever happened to me. You're gonna make me cry again."  
"Wow, I'm able to make Richie Trashmouth Tozier cry."  
"Where should we go after school to get away?" Richie asked putting an arm around Eddie who leant his head on his shoulder.  
"Anywhere."  
"I'm between New York or somewhere in California."  
"Let's try both" Eddie said grinning up at Richie.  
"That's the spirit" he said and kissed him.  
"Uhm, I know we said we would stay in bed all day but, uhm..."  
"You're hungry?"  
"Yeah..."


	11. The Storm Before the Calm

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry I'm posting so infrequently I didn't have a lot of time. But now I'm back and have nothing to do so yey!  
EDIT: I apologise, I am aware that the timing is off - Kurt died at the beginning of 1994 so this does not make too much sense, but I could not set the time to 1993 because then the Losers would not have turned 18 soon. Sorry again, hope you understand!

Richie's parents had left to go to church. Eddie was sitting on the counter as Richie made sandwiches.  
"Sooo, do you have any plans for next weekend?" he asked.  
"Nope, why?"  
"There's this band Bevvy and I like and they're performing in the city this weekend..."  
"Which?"  
"Nirvana. Wait, I'll put them on."  
Richie left and brought a cassette from his room. He put it in the casetteplayer and pressed start. Eddie's first thought after hearing the beginning of the song was: _my mom would hate this_._ She would hate Richie too for showing me this._  
Richie continued making sandwiches as he sang some of the lyrics along.  
"I wanna go to the concert. It would be cooler if you came with. You know, a weekend away from this shithole. In a city" he said standing in front of Eddie and putting his hands on his thighs. "You know, where people aren't so stuck up..."  
"Mhm..." Eddie replied putting his arms around Richie's neck.  
"So, is that a yes?"  
"Uhm, well my mom..."  
Richie sighted. "Okay well, I will go for sure. If you change your mind, tell me."  
"Please don't be mad, you know how she is..."  
"I'm not mad, dear" he replied turning away and finishing the sandwiches. He put each on a separate plate and gave one to his boyfriend. Together they sat on the sofa and ate.  
"Do you like the music?"  
"Yes, it's cool" Eddie replied and looked at the other. He had gotten a lot of freckles over the summer which were now fading again. His skin was pale but his cheeks were pink shimmered. It was such a nice feeling just to sit and eat with him. He wanted to stay like this forever.  
"I really want to go to the city with you. I don't fucking care what ma says" he suddenly said without planning to.  
"Are you sure?"  
"Yes." _I think so._  
"Cool, I'll pick you up Friday evening next week."  
Eddie nodded.  
"It will just be the two of us. Beverly can't, she's got some theatre thing."  
"But aren't you both in theatre?"  
"Yeah, but she actually cares about it."  
Eddie laughed. It made Richie smile.  
"Well, just the two of us sounds great" he said. He took the last bite of his sandwich and put the plate on the table. Richie copied him.  
"I can't wait" he said putting an arm around him and messing his hair up.  
"Fuck you. Don't make me rethink my choice."

***

Eddie opened the front door as quietly as possible when he arrived home in the evening. As always his mother heard it anyways.  
"Eddie-bear? Are you finally home?" she shouted from the living room.  
"Yes, ma."  
"Where have you been all weekend?"  
"Uhm... at Richie's."  
A short silence.  
_Shit, does she-?_  
"Okay, Eddie-bear. You had me worried."  
"I'm sorry, ma'"  
He was still standing at the door, but now walked into the living room.  
"Please stay at home this week."  
Eddie nodded. "Yes ma..." He still needed to ask her for permission to leave for the weekend (which technically wasn't the week), but that could wait.

On Friday he had still not asked his mother about the weekend plans.   
When he left school on that day he was starting to feel sick. He was certain his mother would not allow him to leave. When he entered his house and greeted her he could still not bring himself to ask. He went up to his room and did his homework, but was unable to concentrate. He gave up and started packing his things for the trip with Richie instead. He happily remembered taht he would be in an actual city with people who's minds weren't stuck in the fifties so he made sure to pack all his favourite items of clothing. Then he went into the bathroom to get all the pills and other medicine he might need.  
It was six o'clock. Richie would be there in half an hour. Eddie's heart started racing. He took his bag, put a jacket on and went downstairs. He walked into the living room where his mother was sitting in her usual armchair.  
"Eddie-bear? What are you doing with the bag?"   
"Ma, can I leave for the weekend?" he asked.  
"What? I told you to stay home" Mrs Kaspbrak responded in a confused manner.  
"I'm nearly eighteen. I wanna leave the house on weekends. I can't constantly be home like a-uhm, like a house cat!"  
"Where do you even want to go?" she said clearly trying to remain calm.  
"The city."  
"Do you know how many diseases-"  
"Ma, I've got all medicine I need with me."  
"Who is going with you?"  
"Uhm... Bill, Ben... Richie and uhm... Stan-"  
"But not Beverly Marsh?"  
"Uh-no."  
"Good, I don't want you around such dirty girls."  
"Beverly is my friend!" Eddie said as anger build up inside of him.  
"Edward."  
"She's not dirty! She's great and nice-"  
"Edward, are you telling me you like her? There are better girls for you out there."  
"I like her as a friend!"  
"Do not raise your voice at me, Edward! You're not leaving!"  
"I am! I'm leaving and it's gonna be great!"  
"You're talking crazy. You're not going to the city. How are you even getting there? Where are you sleeping-"  
"I don't know. Richie planned it..."  
"Richard Tozier? Is that boy even able to plan anything? If you ask me he's as dirty as the Marsh gi-"  
"Shut up!" Eddie shouted. In her surprise Mrs Kaspbrak was not able to respond before her son continued.  
"Richie's not dirty. Neither is Beverly! How can you insult my friends in front of me if you never even took the time to meet them. You just hear rumours and try to get me away from them so you can keep me to yourself. But you know what, you achieved the opposite! I love my friends. And I'm gonna go to the city with Richie and we're gonna gonna go to a concert. And you can't stop me!"  
After Eddie's rant silence filled the room for a few seconds. Mrs Kasbprak stood up slowly.  
"Edward, Eddie-bear, you don't know what you're saying" she said with a shaking voice that sounded as if it was about to start shouting.  
"I know exactly what I'm saying. Goodbye ma'" Eddie said and turned around. Luckily he was closer to the front door than her. He ran outside and shut the door with a loud thump.  
Outside he looked at his watch. 6:34. He looked around.  
"This is a really bad time to be late Rich.." he whispered to himself.  
Them he saw someone waving from a car window.  
What the-  
He turned around and saw his mother in the frame of the front door. He ran to the car and on the driver's seat was Richie about to light a cigarette. He quickly got into the car.  
"Hey hey, honeyb-"  
"Start the fucking motor, we gotta go!" Eddie said.  
"What the hell?" Richie said as he turned the key. The unlit cigarette still between his lips. When car began moving he asked "What happened?"  
Eddie looked back. Mrs Kaspbrak was standing in the middle of the street shouting something he could not hear.  
"Argument with m- my mother. Well, more like a fight. She didn't want me to go."  
Richie grinned, but when he saw his boyfriend's serious expression his grin faded. He finished turning on his cigarette.   
"I'm sorry about that. But head up, we're gonna have a great weekend."  
"Yeah I know" Eddie replied smiling. "Richard Tozier, do you want to tell me where the hell this car came from? Don't tell me you stole it."  
"Funny story. Bought it cheaply from a distant cousin or something" he replied taking a drag from the ciggarette in his left hand.  
"When was I gonna find out?"  
"Today. It was supposed to be a surprise."  
"Well, the surprise was a success."  
"I'm glad, honey-bun."  
"I hate those stupid nicknames"  
"You know you love them, Eds. Don't lie to yourself."  
Eddie could not help but smile. He watched the "You're now leaving Derry" sign pass by and his smile grew wider.


	12. Five Star Hotel

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> EDIT: I apologise, I am aware that the timing is off - Kurt died at the beginning of 1994 so this does not make too much sense, but I could not set the time to 1993 because then the Losers would not have turned 18 soon. Sorry again, hope you understand!

Richie stopped the car in front of a shabby looking motel.  
"Welcome to our five star hotel" he said grinning at his boyfriend.  
_There must he so many germs in our room._  
Richie read his thoughts. "I know babe, but our minimal pocket money from our parents and summer jobs really doesn't make up for more."  
Eddie took an audible breath in. "It's okay, you're right. God, I wish we were rich."  
"Who doesn't honey?" Richie replied and opened his door. Both of them got out of the car and got their bags.  
"I bet we're gonna get the best suit" he said putting an arm around him.  
"We might get punched, if anything."  
"Don't be so moody, now! We're gonna see motherfucking Nirvana tomorrow. We're not getting punched, friends put their arms around each other. Its normal." He pinched his cheek. "Now come on, grumpy."  
"I'm sorry, you're right. We've left Derry, what more can I ask for?"  
"Exactly. Positive thinking."  
They checked in at the counter and then went to their room. As expected it was small. The two of them could barely walk past one another through the space between the wall and the bathroom door. Eddie loved it. A little room just for him and Richie. The circumstances made it bearable that there were weird stains on floor, walls and mattress.   
"What do you think?" Richie asked behind him and wrapped his arms around his shoulders.  
"It's great" he replied turning to face him.  
Richie closed the door behind them and then Eddie kissed him standing on tiptoes and pushing him against the wooden door.  
"I wish we could do this on the concert."  
"With your hair having grown so long you might just pass as a girl" Eddie said giggling.  
"Fuck you. No one would believe that you were kissing a girl anyways" Richie responded grinning and leaning down to link their lips again.  
But Eddie moved away and took a step backwards.  
"What is that supposed to mean?" he asked and he sounded genuinely offended.   
Richie was puzzled. "Well, you're not exactly into girls, are you?" he replied irritated.   
"I'm not gay-gay."  
He gave him a confused look. "What is that supposed to mean?"  
"I'm not gonna... y'know, walk around in my underwear, wear dresses, make-up or that kinda thing..."  
_There it was again. His mother..._  
"Just because I like you, doesn't mean I am like them."  
It hurt and it made Richie slightly angry, but the anger quickly shifted to anger directed at Mrs Kaspbrak. Eddie could see the hurt in his friend's eyes.  
_Shit, shit. Shit._  
"Wearing dresses has nothing to do with liking boys."  
Eddie stayed silent.  
"You don't want to tell me you don't find other guys attractive? Like apart from me."  
"What makes you think I find you attractive?" Eddie asked grinning.  
Richie chuckled, but relief filled his body. Thank god, he thought this would end up on a fight when they had just arrived.  
"Thought you and your mother might have similar opinions."  
"Fuck you!" Eddie said grinning brightly. "But yes, I guess I like... I only like guys..." he added looking at his feet.  
"And admitting that doesn't change anything about you."  
He looked up again and smiled at the other thankfully.  
"But labels suck anyways. All that matters is that you like me."  
Eddie was about to give another sarcastic comment, but instead kissed Richie placing his hands on his chest.  
"I love you, Eddie"  
Everytime Richie said those three words Eddie's heart skipped a beat. Adding his name at the end made that feeling the more intense. The feeling was mutual.  
Eddie's hands wandered up to be wrapped around his neck.  
"I love you, Rich." Knowing his boyfriend felt the same way about the sentence put a satisfied smile on his face.  
Richie let his bag fall onto the floor. Then he held Eddie with one hand and picked him up by the knees. He walked towards the bed and threw him onto it. Eddie giggled and Richie leant over him. Again he wrapped his arms around his neck and smiled at him softly. Riche smiled back and leant down to kiss him.  
"I brought a little something" Richie said leaning away. He went to his bag and got a glass bottle and a little plastic bag out of it. He turned to face Eddie who was sitting cross legged on the bed and held the two things up, one in each hand.  
"Which one do you prefer, dear?"  
"Uhm, bottle first."

"I'm so fucking glad we're doing this" Eddie said an hour later. The alcohol was already making him feel funny. "Us two alone in a shitty motel."  
"Right? Nothing I would rather do."  
They were sitting on the bed leaning against the wall.  
"Rich, honeybunny, dear" he began being interrupted by hiccup. "Darling."  
Richie laughed "I thought you hated nicknames."  
"Pshhht" Eddie replied turning to him and putting his finger on his lips which caused him to laugh even harder. Eddie smiled at him and then pressed his lips gently to his. The movement was clumsy because of the alcohol intus, but nice anyways.  
The room was dimly lit and the sky was darkening. Suddenly Eddie's lips moved to his neck. It caught him off guard.  
_It's because of the alcohol._  
_But it's so nice..._  
_He's only doing it cause he's drunk._  
"Eds, babe" he whispered and gently pushed him away.  
"Sorry, did I do it wrong?" Eddie asked and put his hand in front of his mouth to hide a silent burb.  
"No, no. It's just... I don't want you to do something you'd be embarrassed about if you weren't drunk."  
"Awww you're so sweet. If I wouldn't be drunk I just wouldn't have the guts" he replied, but did not try it again. He laid down putting his head on Richie's lap.  
"I'm so tired" he mumbled.  
"Then sleep, dear."  
"But I wanna be awake with you, honey-bunny" he mumbled with closed eyes. He laid his hand on Richie's cheek who grinned and started playing with his hair.  
"This is pretty gay" Eddie said smiling. He chuckled and Richie giggled.  
"It really is."  
Richie looked at him as he fell asleep still stroking his hair. After a while he carefully moved his head and left the bed. He got all the things he needed to roll a joint out of his bad. He rolled one and then put a jacket on. He put the light off and left the room directing a last smile at his sleeping boyfriend.  
They had not drunken a lot so the effect had mostly worn off already. The cool air outside made Richie feel completely sober again. He sat onto a bench. He lit the joint and put it between his lips. Time to unsober again.  
The sky had turned completely black. There were very few stars. That was the only nice thing about Derry. You could see many stars. In a real city you could not. The only nice thing apart from his friends of course. How could such a horrible town create six such wonderful people? He took a drag and watched the smoke dance in the air in frontof the pitch black sky.  
Suddenly he heard a click behind him. He turned around startled. A sleepy Eddie stood in front of their door rubbing his eyes.  
"What are you doing?" he asked yawning and walking towards him.  
Richie held the joint up. "You want a drag?"  
Eddie considered it for a while. He was wearing an oversized jumper and his arms were crossed in front of his chest. Then he took it and sat next to Richie. He took a drag as Richie laid his arm around his shoulders. Eddie put his head on his shoulder and he kissed the top of it. They sat there in silence for a while passing the joint from one to the other. The silence was interrupted every once in a while by Eddie coughing.  
"I love this" Eddie said quietly after a few minutes.  
"Hm?"  
"Being with you in the city away from fucking Derry. Doing whatever we want."  
"I love it too" Richie said taking Eddie's hand.  
Eddie began giggling.  
"What?"  
"Its getting to me."  
Richie chuckled, pressed Eddie closer and kissed his forehead. After a while of talking about random issues and constantly changing themes they killed the joint and went back inside.  
They brushed their teeth and fell onto the bed.   
"I'm so dead" Eddie said staring at the ceiling.  
Richie turned the light off and turned back to him. He put his hand on his cheek and gave him a short kiss.  
"Goodnight babe."  
"Goodnight Rich" Eddie mumbled and quickly fell asleep.


	13. The Concert

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> EDIT: I apologise, I am aware that the timing is off - Kurt died at the beginning of 1994 so this does not make too much sense, but I could not set the time to 1993 because then the Losers would not have turned 18 soon. Sorry again, hope you understand!

The next day Richie was the first one to wake up. Eddie was woken up by the sound of running water at around eight in the morning. It took him a few seconds to remember that the two of them were in a motel, not in Derry. He smiled. He could not help but imagine living in a small apartment in the city with his boyfriend. Waking up with him every day and live their lives together. Away from Derry. Far, far away.  
"Good morning, Eds." Richie had finished showering and had left the bathroom while Eddie had been daydreaming and thus not noticed it. Richie was only wearing a towel slung around his waist.  
Eddie's cheeks flushed. "G-good morning."  
"Do you also wanna shower?"  
"Erm, yeah. On my way" he replied quickly getting out of bed and entering the bathroom with his bag.  
When the water was running the image of Richie only wearing a towel, a nacked upper body and wet hair sticking to his face appeared in his mind again. What if something was going to happen this weekend? Something... of sexual nature. Eddie's face heat up. He did not feel ready for _that_, which did not mean he hated the idea. He had imagined things happen before. Inappropriate daydreams invading his mind at inappropriate times. In a way he wanted something to happen. It was the perfect setting, was it not? Well, apart from the stained mattress. Okay, maybe it could wait. It should wait. But what if he left the bathroom and Richie would be standing there still with a naked upper body. What if he would push him onto the bed and start kissing his neck and his torso and he would feel his warm nacked skin against his and-  
"Hurry up, asshole! I'm starving!" Richie called knocking on the door bringing Eddie back to reality.   
_Fuck, did __I__ really just imagine that?_  
He put his face in his hands.  
_Get a grip, __Eds__!_  
"I'm not taking any longer than you, dipshit! Stop whining!"

Eddie finished showering, got dressed and the two of them left their room. Close to the motel they found a small cute café where they ate breakfast. Afterwards they went grocery shopping. ("We can't afford eating out every meal!")  
"We need food that only needs hot water" Eddie mumbled walking through the aisles. Their room did not have a kitchen, but a kettle. "I'm thinking a few instant meals and bread."  
Richie had no complaints so they bought what they needed and went back to their motel. When they were hungry again they each ate an instant meal and when they were finished it was time to get ready for the concert.  
Richie put on a black Led Zeppelin T-shirt, ripped jeans, a flannel shirt and his worn out converse. Eddie tried to match the aesthetic of Richie's outfit and what he thought Nirvana fans would dress like with what he had at his disposal. He ended up wearing black jeans, sneakers and Richie's _The Clash_ T-shirt which he had kept after the camping trip. He put a dark green wind jacket on too.  
"Are you ever going to give that back to me?" Richie asked looking at Eddie's shirt.  
"I'll think about it."  
Richie shrugged and then put his hands on his waist. "It looks better on you anyways."  
Eddie smiled and gave him a kiss on the lips. "Are you ready to go?"  
"Uhm... just one more thing" Richie replied and went to the bathroom. He left the door open so Eddie followed him and stood in the frame.  
"Bevvy leant me some make-up" Richie explained scrambling through a little bag. He found what he was looking for and took a little black stick out of the bag. Eddie observed him confused.  
"What is that?"  
"Eyeliner, I hope..." Richie replied, opened the lid and seemed satisfied when he saw it looked like a pencil. He drew black eyeliner around his eyes. It was not a straight line, but it was not supposed to be one anyways.   
He turned and looked at Eddie with an askew smile. "You're ready?" He had no idea what his reaction would be. Would he tell him to take it off? The millisecond it took for Eddie to react seemed like an eternity.  
"Y-yeah. Let's go" he said and turned away. Probably the best reaction he could have hoped for. Richie nodded and followed his boyfriend outside.   
"I think, uhm... it's very brave of you to paint your eyes" Eddie said hesitantly after a short silence grabbing Richie's hand. The streets were empty and dark.  
"Thanks, I guess. Does it look good though?"  
"It suits the style. And the style suits you. Although you're kinda betraying yourself by not wearing your obnoxious Hawaiian shirts" he replied grinning.  
Richie ruffled his hair. He knew Eddie was trying his best to open his mind and escape his mother's ideals and he loved him for it.

It was such an amazing feeling to stand around so many people who were all there for the same reason and liked the same music. Eddie standing next to him made it even better. Looking around with his brown eyes, wearing _his_ t-shirt that was too big for him. It was really a constant challenge not to hug or kiss him every few seconds.  
They were already inside the venue waiting for the band. They were standing around the middle. When the three band members finally stepped on stage the audience began shouting and shrieking. Richie grabbed Eddie's hand and squeezed it. He had never felt so at home before.

"That was fucking amazing!" Eddie shouted when they were on their way back to the motel after the concert.  
"I was already scared you wouldn't like it."  
"Are you kidding?"  
Richie grinned satisfied. He was glad Eddie had had a good time. He got his Winstons out of the back pocket of his jeans. He lit a ciggarette and put them back.  
"Let's go get drinks!"  
"Eddie-bear, we're not 21 yet."  
"Aw shit, let's drink the rest of the alcohol at home then."  
_At home._  
"Yeah, but just a little. I gotta drive tomorrow" Richie said grabbing his hand.  
"Fuck! Can't we just stay?"  
"I wish, Eds. Only one year left" he replied taking a drag from his ciggarette.  
Eddie sighted. "That's too long."  
"But it is, what it is."

***

When they arrived at their room both let themselves fall onto the bed.  
"We... really need a shower" Eddie said after a while of silently staring at the ceiling. Both giggled. After sweating so much at the concert they truly did not smell great anymore.  
"But I can't even stand anymore!" Richie moaned.  
"Whatever you want, but you're not touching me anymore until you've showered" Eddie replied getting out of bed and walking into the bathroom. Richie showered after him, but not without more complaints and protests.

"See? Doesn't that feel much better?" Eddie asked when Richie exited the bathroom dressed in his pyjama.  
"Yeah, I guess" he replied reluctantly.   
Eddie took his glasses off. Then he slung his arms around his neck and kissed him.  
"Okay, now it was worth it" Richie grinned after the kiss and stroked his back.   
"I hate you."  
"Hate you too, love" he said and kissed him pushing him towards the bed. When Eddie's legs touched the mattress he sat down onto as the kiss continued. Richie pushed him gently and he laid on his back. He leant over him and kissed his neck while he put his hands on his waist and slowly slipped them under his shirt.  
"Since I can't leave hickeys on your neck..." he said and slightly pushed Eddie's shirt up. Then he placed his lips on his lower torso and slowly moved up as he pushed the shirt further.  
"I love you in that shirt, but..."  
_Fuck, Rich, what are you doing? Where is this going?_  
When the shirt reached Eddie's armpits Richie stopped kissing his upper body and looked up at him. Eddie quickly took his shirt off sitting up and then grabbed Richie's face and kissed him passionately. He slowly fell back on his bag pulling his boyfriend with him. Then his hands moved to the hem of his shirt.  
_What am I doing?_  
He pushed it up and Richie took it off. Then Richie linked their lips again and their naked upper bodies touched. Eddie slung his arms around his neck and pressed him close. He never wanted their bodies to separate. His soft lips, his warm skin-  
_Fuck, Richie!_  
Eddie suddenly pushed him away and jumped off the bed.  
"What happened?" Richie asked confused. "Did I do something wrong?"  
"No, no..." Eddie said irritated and went to the bathroom to collect himself. He closed the door and took a deep breath in. "Fuck, fuck, fuck!" he whispered to himself.   
_Maybe__ it was just his __Winston's__ in his front pocket..._  
_Of course it wasn't! Or do you also have a __packet__ on you?_  
"Fuck, fuck, fuck" he whispered again and put his face in his hands.  
_I'm__ not __ready__ am I? __Apparently I__ really want to be though..._  
"Eds?" Richie's voice came from behind the door accompanied by a gentle knock. "Are you okay? Listen, I'm sorry. I shouldn't... have done, uhm... that."  
After a few seconds and another deep breath in Eddie opened the door slowly looking down. Richie had put his t-shirt back on.  
"I'm okay, sorry..."  
"Don't worry" Richie replied biting his lip. "As long as you're okay."  
Eddie awkwardly covered his upper body with his arms. Richie gave him The Clash shirt with an askew smile.  
"Thanks" he mumbled and put it on as he walked to the bed.  
"Eddie, I'm sorry. I just didn't think clearly anymore-"  
"Me neither, Rich. It's okay" he replied getting under the blanket. "I just suddenly realised... what was actually happening."  
Richie got into bed too. He did not know what to respond, so he did not.  
"I just... need more time" Eddie continued as he was laying on his back. "I'm sorry."  
"Okay, yeah..." Richie said. "Don't apologise for it, though."  
Eddie turned his head to look at him with a subtle but thankful smile.  
"So, you still want that drink? For a good night's sleep."  
After a short consideration Eddie nodded. "Why not."  
Richie grinned. He got out of bed again and filled two glasses with a vodka shot and soda. He gave Eddie one of the glasses as he sat on the bed, a smirk on his lips. He held his up to clink it with Eddie's.   
"To a great fucking concert and weekend" he said and then they both took a sip.  
Then Richie leaned forward and gave him a short kiss. Eddie cupped his cheek with his empty hand and pulled him back when he wanted to lean away elongating the kiss.  
_Are you teasing me, Eds?_  
After a few seconds Richie pulled away and drank half of the glass in one go. Eddie looked at him with innocent eyes.  
_I want you so fucking bad._  
He drank the rest and put the empty glass on the nightstand. "Goodnight, Eddie" he said getting under the blanket. He turned his back to the other.  
"You okay?" Eddie asked. The half full glass was still in his hand.  
"Yes. We should just get to sleep."  
"Right..." he replied continuing to drink.  
When he was finished he turned the light off. He hugged Richie from behind and placed a kiss on his cheek.  
"Goodnight, Rich." Then he turned around.  
Richie could not stop thinking about what had just happened. Eddie's smooth skin touching his. The smell of his soft hair. His mind wandered off to what could have happened if he had not backed off. He imagined slipping his fingers under Eddie's trousers. Eddie grabbing his arms tightly. Kissing him while he would probably try not to make any sounds.  
_Beep beep, Richie_, he thought to himself. He desperately tried to think about something else, but the image of Eddie's brown eyes always returned.  
What he did not know or even consider was that Eddie's thoughts looked very similar as he was trying to fall asleep.   
Richie's lips wandering around his upper body. His thin fingers on his skin pushing his t-shirt up. How far would it have gone if he had not pushed him away? The curiosity was killing him and he sort of regretted having stopped Richie.  
But only sort of.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry that what's happening at the end of the chapter isn't clear - let's just call it, "open for interpretation". I can only bring myself to write very innocent smut.  
(Apart from that it's written from a perspective of two boys expereincing new feelings and discovering their sexuality in combination with young innocence so it does make sense not to spell out the smutty words. (aka me talking myself out of this somehow))  
Hope you are enjoying the story though!


	14. Back Home

An hour had passed and Eddie had still not fallen asleep. He turned around every few seconds and constantly changed sleeping positions. Richie was still turning his back to him. Eddie put an arm around his waist. "Are you awake?" he whispered.   
"Mhm" Richie mumbled. He turned around and slung his arms around Eddie. "Can't sleep either?"  
"Nope" he replied burying his face in his shoulder and tightening his grip. He took a deep breath in. Richie began going through his hair with his fingers.  
"I love you" _I want to hold __you forever__ and never let go._  
"I love you too, Eds." _But __I__ am still kinda turned on and this is not helping._  
Eddie looked up at him and kissed him trying not to think about the fact that the two of them would have to go back to Derry the following day. _Only one year left..._  
"Eddie, love... I don't know if that's the best idea right n-" Richie began after the kiss, but Eddie ignored it and kissed him again making Richie turn onto his back so that Eddie was leant over him.  
_Eds, don't do this to me_. Richie's daydream replayed in his head. Over and over again as Eddie continued moving his lips against his.  
"Babe, don't tease me like this" Richie said breaking away.  
"I am not. Rich, I can't stop thinking about it..."  
"Eds. What are you saying?"  
"I might not be ready for... _it_, but aren't there other things, you know... we could do?"  
"Are you serious? Don't do this because you feel pressured."  
"I'm not" Eddie said cupping his face and getting so close to it that their noses touched.  
"Wait, are you drunk?"  
"Nope" Eddie whispered and softly put his lips on Richie's.   
Richie wrapped his arms around his waist and pressed his body close. After a few seconds of making out he moved Eddie to lay on his back and then began kissing his neck. He moved his fingers under the hem of his shirt and then slowly under the elastic of his underwear while continuing to kiss his neck. Eddie grabbed his arm like he had done in his daydream and clawed his fingers into his skin.  
"If you want me to stop tell me" Richie said and kissed his jaw.  
"I don't- fuck!"  
He thought it would be embarrassing to him, to have someone touch him where no one else had done so before, but it felt right in some weird way. Of course there was a bit of embarrassment left, but it was not worth mentioning.  
"Shit, Rich" he whispered slinging his arms around his neck. Richie pressed his lips onto his gently. The kiss was interrupted by faint moans every once in a while.

***

When Eddie opened his eyes the following morning the first thing he saw was Richie sleeping next to him. He looked so peaceful he did not dare disturb his sleep. He wanted to wake up this way every morning. When the two of them lived in a small apartment in New York or perhaps Los Angeles together he would be the first one to wake up. He would go to their cute kitchen and make coffee for the two. When he would return to their room with the two cups in hand Richie would slowly wake up and give him a lazy smile. He would take the cup and give him a good morning kiss. They would walk to university hand in hand and kiss goodbye when their ways to their classes parted. They could eat in small cafes or maybe sometimes even in a nice restaurant. Listen to whatever music they wanted whenever they wanted, spend some days in bed being lazy or for "other reasons". Other days they would walk through the city centre together and make dumb jokes as they always did. Eddie smiled at the thought. He gently stroked Richie's cheek who's eyes opened slowly and blinked.  
"Good morning, cutie" he mumbled.  
"Good morning, asshole" Eddie replied and kissed him.  
Richie closed his eyes again. "I need a little more sleep to be able to cope with your dumb ass."  
"Fine" Eddie grinned and kissed his cheek. Then he moved closer to him. Soon they both fell asleep again.

When they woke up again about an hour later Eddie went to the bathroom to brush his teeth and afterwards began packing while Richie was still laying in bed.  
"Rich, get up. We need to be out of here at twelve."  
He groaned but did get out of bed. He too began throwing his clothes into his bag. When they were dressed and had finished packing they left their luggage in the car. They spent a bit more time walking around the city. They ate at a fast food restaurant and bought a few snacks for the ride home.

***

"Sooo, Richie" Beverly began and took a drag from her cigarette. "Tell me about this past weekend."  
Richie and her were sitting in a park back in Derry in the evening of that same Sunday.  
"It was pretty fun, I can tell you that."  
"I'm so jealous that you saw Nirvana, dude."  
"I'm sorry Bevvy, next time I'll drag you with."  
"At least this way you and Eddie had a romantic weekend, huh?"  
Richie blushed slightly remembering Saturday night. "Yeah..."  
"Richard Tozier, is there something you want to tell aunt Beverly?" she asked mockingly having noticed his cheeks flushing.  
"No, but you will force me to tell. Won't you?"  
"You did not sleep together, did you? Don't kid me. Eddie would never!"  
"You don't think he would sleep with such a handsome man as myself?"  
Thinking about it it was weird to talk about his sexuality so openly with someone, but Beverly gave him the feeling that it was okay. That it was perfectly natural, something he himself had often doubted.  
"He'd need a lot of convincing" she said giggling.  
"Fuck you. But no, we didn't do it. Buuut..."  
"What? Richie!"  
"We did something... like with our hands..." he replied quietly looking at the ground. By now his whole face had turned pink. "Well, I did."  
"Seriously?" she gasped putting her hand over her grinning lips. He nodded. "Richie Tozier" she said putting her hand on his shoulder. "I haven't even gotten that far with Ben. Congratulations."  
"Ben is too much of a sweetheart" Richie said grinning. "I can't even imagine him doing anything of that kind."  
"You better not imagine anything, pervert!" She laughed. "But Eddie is the same. Plus, his fear of germs. I hope you washed your hands well."  
"Yeah, honestly I was pretty surprised by him initiating that."  
"He couldn't resist you any longer."  
"Must be it" Richie smiled at her. He was so thankful for her. All of the Losers were very accepting, but there was something special about her. "I love you, Bevvy."  
"Don't tell Eddie that. I love you too, Rich" she smiled and put an arm around him.

"Eddie-bear!" Mrs Kaspbrak exclaimed when Eddie entered through the front door of the house, his bag in hand. "I was so worried, dear!" She jogged as fast as her figure allowed her to towards him and cupped his cheeks. She put her arms around him and pressed him close.  
"I told you where I was going..."  
"But still, you left so suddenly. Never do that again, you're breaking your poor mother's heart."  
"I'm seventeen ma, soon I'll be gone forever anyways. You should get used to it."  
_Did that just come out of my mouth?_  
"Eddie, love. I will never, I love you too much."  
What was this all about? He had left on Friday with her shouting at him and now she was being as nice as ever. In her own special way, that was.  
"I love you too, ma. Can I go to my room now?"  
She let go off him and as he walked up the stairs she said "We should better get a check up at the doctor's next week, the city probably left some traces on you."  
He sighted and did not bother to respond. He was going to have to deal with her for the time being.  
"Don't sight at me, dear. You know I dont like that."  
"Yes, ma..."


	15. Piercings and Nail Polish

On Monday in the break before the second last school period Beverly approached Richie at his locker.  
"Hey, Rich. Have you got any plans for today?"  
"Probably catching up on school work."  
"Lame" she replied leaning against the other lockers.  
"Yep" Richie said closing his. "Why?"  
"I thought we could maybe have a little girls night - well, afternoon - at yours."  
"That does sound more fun, you have managed to convince me. What exactly do you have in mind?"  
"Oh, it's a surprise."  
"Pillow fights in our underwear?" Richie said with a grin.  
"Beep beep, Richie" she responded and began walking away. Richie catched up to her jogging a few steps.  
"Oh c'mon, you threw that one at me!"

Richie and her left the school grounds together a few hours later. They jumped onto their bikes and rode the shortest way to the Tozier house.  
"Beverly is here til dinner!" Richie shouted when entering the house without a greeting.  
"Alright, sweetie!"  
"Hello, Mrs Tozier!" Beverly shouted being used to the situation.  
"Hello, dear!'  
The two friends walked up the stairs and went into Richie's room.   
"So, darling, what have you got planned for this fine evening?" Richie asked throwing his bag into a corner of his room.  
Bev got to her knees and scrambled through her bag. He watched her curiously as she did so and was particularly confused when she took a potato out of it. She grinned at him when seeing his questioning expression.  
"Okay, so you don't have to do this, but you could at least help me..." she began saying as she stood up looking at the objects laying in the palms of her hands. Besides the potato there were a few needles, a little plastic bottle, a pen, earrings and a lighter.  
"What kind of satanic ritual are you planning to perform with me?" Richie asked and she giggled. "Am I gonna be the sacrifice?"  
"Beep-beep, idiot" Beverly replied and put all the objects onto the already cramped table. "I want to pierce my ear. I've already got two on both ears, but I want a third on one. Symmetry sucks. If you want to we can pierce yours too!"  
"Oh-uh, that's unexpected" Richie responded in a confused manner.  
"You don't need to, just thought you might want to."  
"Isn't that... painful?"  
"Not really, it stings a bit" she said looking around the room. "Do you not have a mirror in here?"  
"No, you'll have to go to the bathroom."  
And so she left the room. Richie stood starring at the open door she had disappeared through with the objects debating the situation in his head.  
_You've wanted to pierce your ear for ages._  
_I have, but this is so sudden-_  
"Rich!" Beverly's voice interrupted his train of thought. Apparently she had expected him to follow, and so he did now.  
She was standing in front of the mirror in the upstairs bathroom. Richie observed her drawing a dot onto her ear with the pen. Then she thoroughly washed the potato and put disinfectant (which was in the small plastic bottle) on it and also on her ear and a needle (after holding this one over the fighter's flame). Without hesitation she held the potato behind her ear and pinched the needle into her ear where she had drawn the dot. Richie raised his eyebrows in surprise.  
"You're fucking insane!"  
"Could you hand me the little silver earring, honey?"  
He did as told but keeping his shocked expression. She thanked him, pinched the needle completely through followed by the earring. When she was finished she gave Richie a grin.  
"Looking great" he said smiling.  
"You also want one?"  
"Uhm... yes, why the fuck not?"  
She smiled satisfied and prepared and disinfected everything again taking a new needle. He wanted the piercing further up, right before the soft part of the ear ended. When Beverly was about to put the needle into his ear his mother's voice shouted his name. He flinched, but a sense of relief washed through him since he could delay the pain for a certain amount of time.  
"One of your friends is on the phone!"  
"Thank god" he whispered to himself and Beverly giggled when he jumped up and ran down the stairs.  
"Thanks mom" he said taking the phone from his mother. "Hello?"  
"Hey, Rich."  
"Eds?" Hearing Eddie's voice made his heart skip a beat and made him smile instinctively. "What's up?"  
"I was just wondering what you were up to for the rest of the day... I was, uhm, bored."  
"Bevvy is at mine."  
"Oh."  
"Uhm, but maybe I could ask Bev if..."  
"Hey Eddie, your boyfriend is chickening out over getting pierced. Come by and witness the spectacle!"  
Beverly had appeared behind him and spoken into the phone in his hand.  
"What? Rich, you're getting pierced?"  
"You'll have to come by to know" she replied.  
"Should I really come? I don't want to be annoying or anything..."  
"Of course!" she said.  
"You're always welcome, Spaghetti. Give Mrs K. a kiss from me!"

A few minutes later the door bell rang. When the door was opened by Richie he was greeted by a slightly flustered Richie. He let him in with an elegant hand gesture and when he stepped through the door frame Beverly hugged him.  
"What the hell are you doing? Are you guys..." he looked around and then whispered: "high?"  
"No, but that's a good idea to lower the pain" she replied.   
"Could you please explain?"  
"Not much to explain, Eds. We're piercing our ears."  
"No, I pierced _my_ ear as you watched and now you're thickening out!"  
"I'm not, I just waited for Eddie so he could watch."  
"I wouldn't want to miss you suffering from pain" Eddie grinned. Richie lay an arm around him and used the other to gesture towards him.  
"See, Bevvy? I know him too well."  
She smiled. "Okay let's get going then."

Now they were all cramped together in the bathroom. Richie sitting on the closed toilet seat, Beverly kneeling to his left and Eddie sitting on the floor to his right resting his chin and one hand on Richie's leg and looking up at the scene curiously.  
"Okay: three, two..." Beverly said, the needle ready in her hand. Richie instinctively shut his eyes tightly and grabbed Eddie's hand.  
"Ouch! That was _not_ on three!" Richie exclaimed.  
"It's a trick, if I do it on three you might flinch and then I put it in wrongly."  
"Oh my god Rich, you really did it" Eddie said with certain awe in his voice that made Richie calm down and feel better.  
"Okay, I'm just gonna put in this little silver earring, okay?  
"Yeah."  
She did as said and Richie flinched slightly. Then he stood up and walked to the mirror.  
"What do you think?" Beverly asked.  
He looked at himself from different angles through the mirror and grinned. "I love it."  
But it did hurt, so they left the house and sat between the trees near the creek to smoke a joint and distract themselves.  
"One day we'll get you a piercing too, babe" Richie said putting an his arm around Eddie.  
"Sure, when I'm far away enough from my mother so that she can't strangle me to death anymore."  
"Oh, she could probably still do that if you were in an different dimension.'  
"Oh, for sure!"  
They all laughed.  
"So, since we're having such a great girl's day, how about painting our nails?"  
Both of the boys immediately imagined the other one wearing nail polish and they could not say they were opposed to the idea.  
_That's__ unnatural_, Mrs Kaspbrak's voice spoke in Eddie's mind the second after.  
_Boys don't do that. __They__ shouldn't. __They're__ not supposed to._  
So what? It would really suit Riche.  
_But he's a boy!_  
"Can't say I won't take it off right after, but it does sound fun" Richie said and turned to Eddie, his expression asking for his opinion. The eye contact shut his mother's voice up immediately and he nodded reflexivly.  
"Uhm, sure..."  
"So it's decided!" Beverly said enthusiastically and took a drag of the joint and then passed it over to Eddie.

When they had finished it off they went back into Richie's room. He put music on and him and Beverly began painting each others nails as Eddie observed sitting on the bed with his arms around his knees. He was still unsure if he was going to join in. If he was being honest to himself he was a bit sceptical.  
"So, babe?" Richie's voice interrupted his train of thought. He looked up at him. "You wanna try?"  
"I don't know, Rich..."  
"You can take it right off again."  
Hesitantly Eddie moved closer to the two and gave Richie his hand mumbling a faint "okay".  
"I promise you it will look good!" Richie said blushing and took his hand. As he began painting Eddie's nails Eddie's disapproving expression changed into a shy smile. Every once in a while Richie looked up, their eyes met and they exchanged smiles.  
"It does look great!" Beverly said when the job was done.  
_This is weird. It's not right_, something in his gut told him and made him anxious as he looked at the paint on his nails. He wanted to tell the others, but he was not sure how to put his feeling into words. Besides, he was trying very hard to escape his mother's ideals. For Richie. He looked at him with such an enthusiastic grin he could not help but smile back.  
"It's... something to get used to." Yes, that was the right formulation.   
"Of course, it's new, but it looks good."  
Eddie nodded and with that the subject was (thankfully) over.  
He took the nail polish off before going home.


	16. A Lot of Emotions

When Eddie arrived at home the sky was already darkening. He greeted his mother and went straight towards the stairs.  
"Where have you been?" she asked causing him to stop mid-step.  
"At Richie's."  
He heard her standing up and shuffling towards the entrance. When she stood in front of him she continued talking.  
"You've been with him a lot lately." He had been and, although he had not told her about the update on their relationship status, he had never lied about where he went when he met up with Richie. He had not seen a reason in lying to her. Of course, now he did. He felt a weight grow in his stomach.  
"Well... he is my best friend."  
"I know, dear, but he's not the best company..."  
"Ma'..."  
"He's got a dirty mind, Eddie-bear. And I'd be surprised if that's the only dirty thing about him."  
"Richie is perfectly clean!"  
That sounded dumb. Eddie knew it did. He was trying very hard to not raise his voice too much.  
"I'm just concerned about your wellbeing."  
"You don't need to be."  
"How can I not if you hang around such people?"  
"_Such people_? My friends are great people. You need to stop trying to get me away from them because it's not happening! I love my friends. I love Richie and nothing you say will change that." His voice had surely risen at that point, but he did not regret it. It felt good to confront his manipulative mother. He ran up the stairs and slammed his bedroom door shut after him as Sonia Kaspbrak stood at the bottom of the stairs wide eyed.  
Eddie threw his rucksack onto the floor with all the force he could manage and then cramped his hands into fists as hot tears began falling down his cheeks.  
"Fuck, fuck, fuck!" he whispered to himself desperately trying to diminish his urge to break something.  
Someone knocked on his door and he flinched.  
"Eddie-bear, don't be angry at me. I'm just trying to protect you" his mother said behind the door. He saw the doorknob turn. He had locked the door.  
"I've told you not to lock your door, dear" she now said and he heard in her voice how hard she tried to sound nice and not to shout.  
"I need my privacy. I don't need you to protect me anymore."  
_That will show her. I hope she cries._  
Eddie was shocked at his own thought.  
"But I love you, and I want you to be safe. I don't think you're safe with your friends, but if you love them so much as you say then I can't hold you back." It sounded horribly forced and Eddie knew soon she would make mean comments about the other Losers again, but it made him smile. It was the closest she had ever gotten to an apology. He slowly moved the lock and opened the door. He fell into her arms and began sobbing.  
"Just be careful" she said after a short silence.  
"I am, but I trust my friends fully."  
He knew she wanted to oppose, but she managed to hold it back. They separated. Eddie had stopped crying.  
"Ma... I _love_ Richie"  
It seemed like a good moment now that she had been nicer than ever. But the second he said it he knew it was not. There would never be a good moment because he was sure his mother would not accept it. Never. But he did feel a sense of relief to have said it out loud.  
"I know, you're best friends. You've already said that" she replied and was about to turn around. "Let's watch that new quiz show to-"  
"Ma" he said again, but raising his voice a little. "It's not like that. We're... more that best friends."  
"What are you saying, dear?" She tried to sound sweet, but he could hear the fear in her voice. His heart was racing and he had the urge to cry again.  
"I'm saying I don't like girls" he responded with a serious expression on his face holding the tears back. For now, anyways.  
"Eddie-bear, you don't know what you're saying. Do you have a fever?" she asked nervously and put her clammy hand on Eddie's forehead. He took a step back.  
"No, I'm fine."  
"You can't be, we should visit the doctor. My Eddie-bear isn't- can't be- you're ill." Her speech was picking up speed as it went on. She grabbed Eddie's thin arm with force. "Let's get you to the hospital."  
The damned tears were rolling down his face again when he twitched his arm to free himself of his mother's firm grip.  
"No!" he replied, his voice shaking. "You're the sick one, you're insane!" He shouted.  
He got back into his room slamming the door and shutting it quickly. He kicked the wall.  
"Ouch, fuck!" he screamed.  
"Don't take those dirty words into your mouth!" His mother was shouting too now.  
"Watch me!" he screamed. He put a jacket on and grabbed his school bag. Then he opened his window after brushing a few tears out of his face. Cool air hit his heated up face. He jumped out onto the grass in front of his house. It hurt his feet, but he did not mind. He looked at his watch. Luckily it was only around 10 PM. Richie would still be awake.

Richie was pinching the strings of the guitar he had bought on a yard sale. He could not play it, but he wished he did. Maybe one day he would start taking classes. Suddenly something or someone knocked on his window. He flinched.  
"Fuck, Eds! You scared the crap out of me!" he said when he opened the window for his friend. Then he saw Eddie's wet red face when he came into the light.  
"Fuck! Eddie, what happened?"  
But instead of answering Eddie just fell into his arms and began sobbing for the third time today.  
Richie put his arms around him placing his chin on his head. He wanted to stroke his back, but the rucksack was in the way so he put his hands under it.  
_Why the rucksack...?_  
"Babe, what happened?"  
"My stupid mother happened."  
Eddie was going to elaborate sooner or later, whenever he felt like it so for now, Richie stopped asking questions and simply continued hugging him. The sobs slowly died out. When they did completely Eddie leant away and brushed the leftover tears out of his face with the hem of his jacket.  
"Can I sleep over?" he asked quietly.   
"Of course" Richie said and kissed his forehead.  
Eddie finally took off the bag and fell onto the bed.  
He stared at the ceiling and in a monotone voice said: "We fought and she told me I was sick because I love you."  
Richie looked at him in disbelieve. He was speechless. He sat down on the bed next to his boyfriend and looked at his feet. "I'm sorry about that."  
When he did not say more Eddie looked at him. He sat up and wrapped his arms around his arm. Richie moved his head towards him and put their foreheads together. After half a second he began kissing him and put his free arm on his waist. Eddie pushed him away.  
"I'm not in the mood for that, Rich. Can't you give me a better answer?" he asked standing up. He crossed his arms awkwardly in front of his chest.  
"I'm sorry, Eddie, but what more can I say?" Richie began. "You're fucking brave, is what I can say. Really fucking brave for standing up to your mother and telling her. I have not told my parents and couldn't imagine to do so before I leave. Eddie you're brave as fuck and your mother is a real bitch for not understanding you, but also she's old and old people are like that. They haven't caught up."  
Eddie grabbed his face and started kissing him. Richie tasted salt from his dried tears. He felt Eddie's hand on his lower torso. His cold fingers slipped under his shirt.  
"Eds" he whispered gently pushing him away. "You're not in the mood, right?"  
"Maybe now I am" Eddie said and tried to kiss him again.  
"Eds, i don't think you really want this."  
"I don't fucking get you. You just did the same and now that I want it, you don't" Eddie said raising his voice as he stood up.  
"I want it, but... I don't want you to regret it because you're feeling a lot of emotions. And anger and sadness might not be the best mix for... y'know."  
"Stop treating me like a fucking baby!"  
"I'm sorry, Eds. I didn't mean to-"  
"Well, you fucking did though! You fucking did and-" Tears were filling his eyes again and he began sobbing unable to continue speaking. Richie stood up and embraced him.  
"I'll try to stop treating you like a baby, spaghetti head" he whispered after a minute of silence.  
"I don't care about that, I just want a normal mother" Eddie mumbled between sobs. "And maybe a father while we're on it."  
Now tears began slowly rolling down Richie's cheeks too. He stroked his boyfriend's back.  
"I know..." his voice said weakly. "You deserve much better parents, but life can be unfair sometimes. I'm sure better things are to come. And hey, you've got great friends and an okay boyfriend."  
Eddie giggled between sobs. "Yeah, my boyfriend is pretty okay."  
"I love you, Eds."  
"I love you too, Rich. Let's go to bed and sleep, I'm so tired."


	17. The Proposal

Another day passed in which Richie and Eddie went to school together and Eddie slept at his house. Eddie knew he would have to talk to his mother eventually, but he needed a few days more to bring up the courage to go back to her. The following day he suggested to sleep at someone else's home as to not bother the Toziers for too long. Richie said that was not necessary, but of course Eddie could not stay forever. After a week he slept a night at Bill's, then one at Ben's and another one at Stan's. Before leaving Richie had leant him some clothes.  
"If I come home now she's really gonna kill me" Eddie said when him and Stan had put their pyjamas on for the night. He was sitting on the edge of the bed.  
"I think she will be the happiest woman ever" Stan replied who was folding his clothes and neatly putting them into the closet. "She's probably worried sick. You've reached her a lesson, don't you think?" he asked in a kind voice.  
Eddie shrugged. "I suppose. I'm surprised she hasn't called the police already."  
Stan grinned. "Hey, you can do it. I mean, you told her about Richie, you can go home. What can she even do to you? If she gives you house arrest, you can just escape again."  
They both giggled.   
"Thanks, Stan. I'm gonna go tomorrow morning, so that I can go right to school after."  
"Sounds like a plan. Good luck, Eddie."

Even though the walk from Stan to Eddie's house took about twice as long as usual Eddie did reach his house on the following morning. His hand was trembling when he tried putting the key into the keyhole. Before he was able to turn it around the door opened.  
"Eddie-bear!"  
His mother stared at him in disbelief for a second then her arms wrapped around him and he was pressed against her.  
"Ma, I gotta go to school."  
"But you'll come back!"  
"Yes, but I will not go to a doctor. I am fine."  
"But what if you're sick. I can't heal you alone!"  
"Mom, I don't want to talk about this now. I need to go to school" Eddie replied stepping away. "If you call me sick for being with Richie I'm leaving again." He gave her a discrete smile and said: "Bye, ma". Then he turned away and left leaving her speechless.  
When he was out of sight he could not hold it in anymore and a great grin spread over his face. He felt bubbly with happiness, a sense of satisfaction for having told his mother all there was to say without shouting. He did not expect his mother to accept the fact that he liked boys, but she would have to deal with it.  
He began running the last meters to school. In the hallway he saw his friends standing at their lockers. Richie turned to the side and their eyes met. He smiled and Eddie began running towards him smiling brightly. When he reached him he jumped into his arms. Richie blushed and hesitantly put his arms around Eddie. "Hey, woah, Eddie." He grinned pressing him close and cradling him. "Good morning, dear."  
"Good morning, babe."  
"How do I come to such an honour as to be called babe?" Richie asked when they let go. The other losers observed the scene smiling.  
"I totally showed my mom. I can stay at home again. I don't know I just feel... happy" Eddie replied cupping Richies face. He felt the urge to kiss him but had to stop himself remembering they were in school. He snickered letting go of his boyfriend.  
"I knew you could do it!" Stan said.  
"So, she's okay with you and Richie?" Mike asked.  
"Oh, definitely not. But she will be forced to deal with it."  
"That's the spirit!" Bev giggled.  
Soon the school bell rang and the Losers split to attend to their classes.

***

"Arcade, arcade, arcade!" someone suddenly said right next to Bills ear. He flinched and turned to see Richie with a wide grin.  
He had been talking with Mike and Ben at the lockers. Now the rest of the Losers joined them.  
"C'mon guys, we haven't been there in ages. And later we'll eat pizza at... uhm, Mike's!" Richie continued leaning on the lockers.  
"I guess we could go" Mike said. "You could come this Sarurday."  
"You're great, man" Richie replied putting an arm around him. The others all agreed to come too.

And so they all met at the arcade a few days later. Richie was there already and greeted all of them cheerfully. They split into little groups and each went to different games. Every now and then one of them exclaimed when they had a victory and then everyone crowded around them.  
Richie was playing street fighter with Stanley. When they finished the round they were playing Richie excused himself. He approached Eddie who was playing X-Men as Mike and Bill watched and waited for their turn. He grabbed his waist and Eddie jumped.  
"Oh my- fuck! Rich!"  
The screen read GAME OVER when Eddie turned around to face his friend. Richie giggled.  
"Eddie, my love."  
"What do you want, asshole? You made me lose the game!" Eddie said crossing his arms in front of his chest.  
Richie got down onto one knee and searched for something in the pocket of his jacket.  
"Richie, what the fuck?"  
Mike and Bill watched the scene wide eyed. Now the rest of the Losers also approached.  
"Eddie Spaghetti," Richie grinned up at him. He got his closed fist out of his pocket and held it up "will you marry me?" He opened his fist and on the palm of his hand laid a Ring-Pop.  
Eddie burst out laughing holding his hand in front of his mouth. Richie's grin grew wider. He stood up again and grabbed his hand. He carefully put the ring on his ringfinger.  
"Did you just keep it in there without packaging? That is is disgusting!" Eddie said still snickering. "But, yes I will, you dumbass!"  
After a quick look around he grabbed Richie's face and kissed him.  
"But this is not legally binding, is it?" he asked grinning after the kiss, his arms slung around Richie's neck.  
"It's just a symbolic promise that, when we finish school, you'll get away with me, and maybe one day..."  
"I love you."  
"I love you more, asshole" Richie replied and kissed him again. At this point people were probably staring, but he did not care.  
"Let's get the hell away now" he said when they separated.  
"Oh, yeah, we really should."  
They quickly walked outside hand in hand as their friends followed.  
"Whu-what the hu-hell was that?" Bill asked when they were all reunited outside. The air was cool and the sky had already turned black.  
"The crappiest proposal ever!" Richie grinned.  
All of them began laughing.  
"It really was... something" Beverly smiled.  
"So, you're engaged now?" Ben asked.  
"We're whatever comes before that" Richie said putting his arm around his boyfriend.  
"Let's celebrate this with pizza!" Mike said and grabbed his bike.  
All together they rode to a nearby pizzeria where they brought pizza in cartons they then transported to the Hanlon farm where they then ate. While they were doing so they were also watching a movie. They were not in the mood for horror, so they chose a romantic comedy.  
When Richie was full he yawned and as he stretched he put his arm around Eddie. His eyes wandered to the untouched Ring Pop.  
"Are you not gonna suck that?" he asked pointing at it.  
"Ew, no! I told you that was fucking disgusting. It was in your pocket the whole night, it's probably full of crumbs and-"  
He grabbed Eddie's hand held it close to his face. Then – without hesitation – he sucked on the Ring.  
"Rich, ewww!" Eddie cried pulling his hand away. "That's gross, you're- Stop!" Richie tried kissing him, but Eddie pushed him away. "Don't you dare kiss me!" he cried and started giggling.  
"You guys are the actual worst. Votes to have them sit on opposite sites when we watch a movie constantly?" Stanley asked putting his hand up. Everyone but Richie and Eddie copied his gesture.  
"You're just jealous of our love" Richie said pressing Eddie close.  
"Can I still add my vote?" Eddie asked putting his hand up too. Richie kissed his cheek. "If you do that again, I'm actually gonna break your ribs!"  
Everyone laughed.  
"Well, I guess I'll need to brush my teeth then" Richie said standing up. He grabbed his toothbrush from the bag and walked to the bathroom. Eddie watched him leave and had to smirk.  
"Yuh-you're so cheesy" Bill said grinning.  
"It's disgusting" Beverly snickered. "But if you think about it, how great is it that out of such a traumatic experience comes such a great love story?"  
Ben smiled sadly at her and Eddie blushed. Stan suddenly stood up and mumbled that he needed to go to the bathroom.

Luckily Richie had not closed the bathroom door.  
"Stan? What's up?" Richie asked when he came in, his toothbrush between his teeth.  
Stan closed the door quickly and starred at Richie as he bit his lip nervously. "Uhm..."  
"You okay?"  
"Yuh-yeah. I'm-" He swallowed spit. "I'm just curious..." His eyes darted around the room. "How did you realise you didn't only like girls?"  
Richie raised his eyebrows in surprise, but quickly caught himself again. "Well, mainly my crush on Eddie. At one point I just couldn't deny I had it anymore." He blushed and smiled shyly. "Y'know the usual crap like butterflies, blushing, staring at him... very telling dreams."  
Stan grinned. "You're such a cliche, Trashmouth."  
"You asked, Staniel! Uhm... by the way, you can tell me anything."  
"Yeah I know. Thanks, Rich."  
Richie nodded. "Do you want to tell me anything?"  
"Uhm... no. Let's join the others, they're probably wondering where we're at..."  
"Okay, but just some advice from the expert: I don't think that any of us Losers is 100% straight. Well, I guess Ben, but he's not even into women, he's just into Bevvy."  
Stan gave a short giggle, smiled at his friend and then the two of them went back to their friends.


	18. Suspended

Before Eddie left the house to go to school on monday his mother gave him a kiss on the forehead and quickly went through his messy bed hair with a comb. He took his bicycle. The weather had cooled down drastically since school had started again, but then again it was already the end of October. Time had passed incredibly quickly, Eddie thought. The cold air crawled under his jacket and trousers, but the weak sunshine helped keeping him from freezing.  
He was lost in thought when he suddenly saw something in a store window that sparked his interest.  
A skateboard.  
Eddie stopped his bike and jumped off. He let it fall onto the pavement carelessly and got closer to the window. His eyes widened and he had to grin thinking about himself falling off the skateboard. He would get so many bruises, his mother would hate it. Without second thought he entered the shop and asked for the prize.  
"Fourty dollars. It's already been used and the wheels might need an update I'm not going to lie to you kid" the store owner responded.  
Eddie had been saving most of the money he had gotten so he could afford it. But after the purchase he would be broke.Perhaps, he thought, he could get a part-time job. Bill had one at the cinema and both Mike and Ben helped out at the library at times. Yes, that was a great idea.  
"Uhm, I don't have that on me right this moment. I was on the way to school so... But would it be possible to hold on to it for me so I can buy it after school?"  
"No problem, kid" he responded and walked to the window to grab the skateboard. "But if someone wants to buy it for ninety dollars it's gone."  
Eddie nodded. He thanked the man and then left the store.  
He once more looked into the window, but now to look at his own reflection smiling at him brightly. The hair his mother had combed was messy again. He observed it had grown longer than it usually was, just a little, just barely noticeable. It was also getting curly. Eddie thought it looked good, and decided that when his mother would drag him to the hairdresser he would refuse to go.

When he got to school he told his friends about his nearly purchased skateboard as soon as he saw them. He also told them that he wanted to look for a job. They replied with encouraging words.  
_What a great day_, Eddie thought.  
"Hey, Rich" he called when he caught him alone in the hallway.  
"What's up?"  
"You know about the job, right? I just had this... idea that maybe you could also get one so that we can save some money for when we leave Derry."  
Richie smiled and it looked both happy and sad. "That's a great idea, Spaghetti" he replied and ruffled his hair.  
"Don't do that, ass" Eddie said but smirked.  
Richie gave him a quick kiss on the cheek and then left to go to class.  
Eddie stood in the middle of the hallway with a bright pink face. Suddenly he remembered the arcade kiss. On that evening no one had done anything, but some kids had surely witnessed the scene and if that was the case it was only a question of time before it would spread through the whole school and then-  
Eddie got a little bit anxious and looked around to see if anyone had noticed him in particular. It did not seem to be the case, but he still walked quickly to get to his class.

The following day the situation had changed. When Richie and him entered the classroom people _were_ staring, but to a manageable extend. They continued walking unbothered, but then they saw the bully who had punched Richie in the past from a distance.  
"If he knows about the arcade..." Eddie began pointing towards the boy.  
"We better get the fuck away" Richie said. He grabbed Eddie's arm and pulled him into a room. It was an empty classroom.  
The door suddenly opened again causing the friends to flinch. In the frame stood a teacher.  
"What are you doing here?" she asked.  
"Uhm..."  
"We're hiding" Richie replied. "Out there is someone who wants to punch us."  
"No one can punch you in school and remain unseen. Get out of here boys."  
Richie bit his lip, but obeyed. Luckily the teacher followed them and stood behind them when the bully passed. He looked at Richie and Eddie angrily, but did not attempt to attack them.  
"Oh, lord fuck."  
"Shit, Rich... I'm sorry."  
"Why?"  
"Well, at the arcade I... y'know...'  
By now the two of them had continued walking towards their class.  
"How could you not after I proposed so whole heartedly? _I'm_ sorry."  
"Asshole" Eddie said smiling.  
During the day two people called them "faggots", but no one touched them.

The day after, their english teacher asked them to stay after class. When the class was finished and everyone else had left she leant against her desk and gave them a sorry smile.  
"You two are great students" she said. "Especially you, Richard. But I've noticed the classes you two have been in have lately all been very distracted. Do you know why that is?"  
Richie and Eddie exchanged a questioning look.  
"No, Miss" Eddie replied for the two of them.  
"I think you do. I've heard something happened at the arcade last weekend. What happens outside of school is none of my concern, but inside of school I want my students to be present and not to get distracted, do you understand what I mean?"  
They did.  
"No" Richie replied. Eddie looked at him with a shocked expression.   
_Don't_, he tried to tell him telepathicaly. But of course he did not hear or listen.  
"Could you please tell us what we did wrong and what you don't want us to do?"  
She sighted. "I don't want you to distract your classmates."  
"By not coming to school, or what? Because those intolerant assholes get distracted by our mere presence."  
"Watch your language, Richard. Of course you should come to school, what you shall not do is repeat whatever happened at the arcade."  
"You know what happened. So, a girl and a boy are also not allowed to kiss in school?"  
"Perhaps in the break."  
"But we're not allowed to do it in the break?"  
"You can do whatever you want to do outside of school, but not inside."  
"We understand" Eddie said politely and grabbed Richie's arm in an attempt to shut him up and get him out of the room quickly.  
"Thank you, Edward."  
"No, fuck this." Richie exclaimed.  
"Richie, stop!"  
"Watch your language, young man."  
"This is bullshit! It's fucking unfair! You have no right to forbid that, bitch."

Richie got sent to the director's office and got suspended for the rest of the week.  
"Worth it" he told the rest of the Losers after school.  
"Won't your parents be angry?"  
Richie shrugged and lit a cigarette. "Maybe a bit." He took a drag and put his arm around Eddie. "So, have you learned some sweet skating tricks yet?"  
"I got the board yesterday, Rich."  
"I thought you were a quick learner, honey."  
"Thu-that t-teacher is a ruh-real bitch" Bill said.  
"I told her that too" Richie grinned.  
"Well, you shouldn't have! Now you're suspended and she's not gonna change her mind anyways" Eddie said pushing Richie's arm away.  
"A few suspended days ain't gonna kill me."  
"But an angry Eddie just might" Mike said and Beverly ruffled Eddie's hair.  
"I need to get home, guys. See you tomorrow" Eddie said.  
Richie gave him a kiss on the lips holding his chin with a finger.  
"Apart from you, asshole." Eddie grinned and got onto his bike. Then he drove away.  
"Uhm, guys" Stan said when he was out of sight. "I'm also gonna go. I have no homework so I'm gonna go bird watching before it gets dark."  
"You still do that?" Richie asked.  
"Yes, I do, Richie. Well... bye guys."  
He turned away walking towards a path leading towards the barrens.  
"W-wuh-wait, S-s-s-stan!"  
Stan turned around in surprise. "What?"  
"Cuh-can I c-c-come wuh-with?" Bill asked stuttering more than usual. He cursed to himself quietly.   
"Sure" Staley replied smiling lightly.  
"C-cool. Bye, guys!"  
The four remaining Losers said goodbye to Bill and continued their walk, but Richie kept looking at Stanley's bag until it had disappeared between the trees. He remembered the night at Mike's when Stan had wanted to talk to him. Then he grinned satisfied and catched up with the others.


	19. Skate-School-Work Balance

When Eddie left school on the following day he was delighted to see Richie leant against a tree on the opposite side of the street with both of his hands in his jeans pockets.  
He approached him trying not to smile as much as his face was trying to. Richie grinned at him.  
"Hey. You really can't go a day without me, huh?"  
"Who says I was waiting for you?" Richie replied. He pointed at a student they did not know who walked passed them in that second. "Maybe I was waiting for that little cutie. I'm sure she wants a piece of the cake too."  
"Fuck you" Eddie said giving him a gentle push.  
"Let's get away from here" Richie said quietly leaning down close to his boyfriend's face who stared at his lips.  
"Yeah, let's go..." he whispered.   
Luckily Eddie had gone to school with his skateboard and not with his bicycle because that would have been quiet hard to carry through the jungle that lead to the barrens. But the two friends did not walk as far as the barrens, a little clearing on the way would have to do. They laid down in the grass looking up into the blue but slightly clouded sky as the sunshine shone through the trees.  
"Not everything in Derry is horrible" Eddie said after a quiet while.  
"I guess not, but not long ago we would have to have feared a clown attacking us right here."  
"Rich!"  
"I know, I know, sorry" Richie said sitting up slightly supporting himself with one arm. He looked up at the sun grimacing and then down at Eddie.  
Eddie grinned. "Now we have to fear bullies, but I guess that's an improvement."  
"Mhm." Richie stroked Eddie's cheek with his free hand and then leant down to kiss the other cheek. Then he linked their lips purposely softly. Eddie grabbed his face and smiled into the kiss.  
"Cute, cute, cute!" Richie exclaimed pinching Eddie's cheek.  
"I hate you!" Eddie replied pushing Richie away putting his hand into his face. They both laughed when Richie fell onto his back. Then they watched the clouds in silence again. But Richie could not keep quiet for too long.  
"I think Stan has a crush on Bill" he said and turned his head towards his boyfriend.  
"Didn't we all at one point?" Eddie snickered.  
Richie raised his eyebrows in surprise. But Eddie was right, he thought, everyone admired Bill, but he was suprised by Eddie saying it out loud nonetheless.  
Eddie looked back at him biting his lip, then he grinned.  
"Well, I fucking hope your crush is gone by now."  
He looked back at the sky looking thoughtful.   
"Maybe, maybe not."  
Richie started tickling Eddie who burst out laughing. "Fuck you!"  
"Fuck... you... more!" Eddie managed to say between laughing.  
Richie stopped tickling him and kissed him.  
"No, but I mean it" he said leaning away again. "Stan's crush seems to have, uhm... stayed."  
"Hmm. Do you think Bill...?"  
"I don't know. I think he just might. I really fucking hope he does. Otherwise we'll have to date Staniel to make up for it."  
"You're the fucking worst!" Eddie exclaimed giggling. He pushed Richie away who tried to tickle him again.  
"I'm just being a good friend!"  
Eddie grabbed his wrist and ended up sitting on his torso and pressing his hands into the grass above his head.  
"That's kinda hot" Richie said smirking up at him.  
"Shut the fuck up" Eddie replied cupping his cheeks and trying to look serious.  
"Or?"  
"Or I'll have to make you."  
"I don't think anyone could ever do-" Richie began, but was shut up by Eddie's lips linking with his. He put his hands onto Eddie's waist.  
"Yeah, okay, one point to you" he said when his boyfriend leant away and. His hands moved to his tights.  
Eddie crossed his arms and grinned triumphantly. "It's my talent-"  
Richie turned quickly making Eddie fall. He grabbed his hands and put them on either side of Eddie's head who looked surprised. Now Richie was leaning over him and sitting on his torso.  
"You're too heavy, asshole!"  
Richie grinned, but put his weight onto his knees instead of Eddie's torso.  
"Sorry, my fragile little baby" he said and kissed the corner of Eddie's lips.  
"I'm not fragile, _you_ just gained weight" Eddie said trying to free himself of Richie's grip, but not actually trying to.  
"How am I in love with you?"  
"Oh I ask myself that a lot too."  
They both giggled.  
"Fuck you" Richie whispered and pressed his lips against Eddie's softly.  
"Fuck me" Eddie whispered as Richie moved away. "You! I meant you! Fuck you" he then quickly exclaimed turning red.  
Richie laughed and freed him. He stood up.  
"Let's go get some jobs, huh?" he said giving Eddie a hand to stand up too.  
"Yuh-yeah..." Eddie replied, his cheeks still flushed.  
The day before they had looked through the papers to find jobs they could apply for. As expected the variety in Derry was not great, but there were a few offers: in a record shop (which also sold games and movies), a café, a hardware store (that sold very little hardware actually) and a kiosk. The couple applied for all of the jobs hoping to at least get accepted by one (Richie's preference was the record store and Eddie's the café). But before applying they went home and put on a smart shirt and jeans that were not ripped or dirty.   
Both Richie and Eddie knew very little about hardware, but Richie – knowing a little more about it – got accepted. But he did not take the job since he got accepted by the record shop too. Eddie did not get accepted there since the only music he knew about was classical music and, thanks to Richie Queen and Nirvana. Luckily Eddie got accepted by the café (Richie did not).  
"We did it, we fucking did it!" Richie exclaimed when Eddie called him to tell him the good news a few days after.  
"Yeah, we did!" Eddie smiled.  
_Now __I__ just need the approval of my mom to accept the job._

And it was not easy to get it. But Eddie knew his mother well and she was getting scared to lose him. At he end of a nearly one hour long discussion he managed to convince her by telling her they needed all the money they could get for medication.  
And so Eddie began his job at the café and Richie at the record shop the following week.

***

Eddie practiced skating at every chance he got which were not a lot of chances since Christmas was approaching and so were a lot of exams. Besides that there was his job and his boyfriend, Richie, who was not getting less cute by adding more layers of clothing, at least Eddie thought so even though he would not admit it.  
In school and when the losers met he observed Bill and Stan's interactions with Richies thesis in mind. When Bill and him had an early school end one day at the beginning of December Eddie swore to himself he was going to ask Bill about Stan. But he did not get the chance to ask right away because Bill began asking about his skateboard. Where did he get it, how much did it cost, did he already learn some tricks?  
"I uh-also wanna skate" Bill said.  
"Why don't you?" Eddie asked. "Let me teach you!" he exclaimed excitedly.  
"Would you?"  
"Yes, we can do it right now."  
Eddie could not help but smile. _He_ was going to teach _Bill Denbrough_ something. Big Bill, who was always the one teaching the other losers something, their idol, their father figure even.  
"Thu-that w-would be amazing, Eddie!"  
And so the two of them found a quiet, but well paved street to practice. There was no half pipe in Derry yet, sadly. That was only going to be build at the end of the nineties, when most of the losers were going to be long gone.  
While the two friends were taking turns at skating and were falling off and laughing, Eddie nearly forgot about Stan. He only remembered when it was already getting dark. He looked up at the sky. _Damn winter time._  
"We should get going" he said.  
Bill nodded and gave him the skateboard.   
"I'm duh-definitely gonna buy one" he added smiling. "Thanks, Eddie."  
Eddie had to smile too. "You're welcome, Bill."  
They walked in silence for a while and Eddie was thinking about an opener for a conversation about Bill and Stanley. But before he could think of one, Bill gave him one.  
"H-how is it g-going with Richie?"  
"Pretty great, honestly."  
"Do you argue more or less now?"  
"Oh, definitely more, but nothing serious. Maybe it's our way to flirt." It felt weird to talk about Richie with someone else, but not bad.  
Bill grinned.  
"What about you, big Bill? Any interests after Beverly?"  
"Not really." Bill looked ahead of him. "Actually... I don't know."  
"What does that mean?"  
"Forget it."  
"No, Bill!" Eddie said quickly. "Uhm, I mean you can tell me anything and I would be happy if you did."  
"Th-thanks Eddie, but maybe I sh-should just forget about it. It would be a buh-bad idea to make a move anyways."  
"Maybe not! If it is Stan-" Eddie covered his mouth with one hand.  
_Fuck, __I__ need to hold myself back!_  
"Whu-what? Whu-why Stan?" Bill asked and his cheeks gained a pink colour.  
"Uhm... well, Richie and I kinda think he's got a crush on you..." Eddie said and bit his lip. "But he didn't tell us or anything, it's just because of the way he acts." He observed Bill's expression trying to read it.  
"You ruh-really think so?" he asked. Eddie noticed he tried to hold a smile back but failed.  
Eddie grinned. "You like him too! Bill, you _need_ to make a move." Was he really giving big Bill advice?  
"But what if he doesn't? I don't want to ruin our friendship."  
"Test the water. Make little moves: spent time alone with him, be touchy, I don't know, make him little presents like drawings or something. See how he reacts!"  
"Okay, that's a plan" Bill said and gave Eddie a thankful smile.


	20. Big Bill and Staniel

"Oh no" Stan said when he saw Richie entering the school. He was standing together with the other Losers at the lockers.  
As Richie walked towards the group a wide grin spread over his face seeing the disappointed expressions of his friends.  
"Hello, my dear friends. Hello, my beautiful boyfriend" he said when he stood in front of them. He gave Eddie a kiss on the cheek.   
"I'm breaking up with you."  
"I'm bruh-breaking up our friendship" Bill said.  
"What? You guys don't like my beautifully festive Christmas sweater?" Richie asked looking down at his sweater. It was bright red, but the distasteful part was the christmas tree on it that was decorated with colourful pom-poms.  
"No, I think it suits you" Stan said surprising everyone. "It's just as obnoxious as your personality."  
Everyone laughed.  
"You just have no fashion sense" Richie said pushing his glasses up. He put his arm around Mike who was standing next to him.  
"Please don't do that" he said. "You're embarrassing me."  
"Even Mike-" Beverly giggled.  
Everyone laughed again.  
"None of you are getting any affection from me today then, not even Eddie."  
"Thank god" Eddie said.  
"But your mom will get twice as much!"  
The bell rang. Everyone began walking to their classes. But Richie still needed to get to his locker. Stan stayed with him.  
"Rich."  
"Huh?"  
"Bill called me yesterday."  
Richie turned towards Stanley, closing his locker without having taken anything out.  
"He asked me if I wanted to grab hot chocolate with him after school today and then maybe go to the cinema or watch birds if I wanted to."  
"Stan the man, Staniel, Big Bill asked you on a fucking date!"  
"Are you sure? Maybe it's just friendsh-"  
"Why would he call you? The calling makes it really official, dude. He just wants it to be the two of you."  
Stan took a deep breath in. "Oh, god, Rich..."  
"Hey, don't get nervous, it's gonna be great. You dont have the pressure of making a good impression cause you guys have known each other for ages."  
Stan smiled. "Good point, Trashmouth."  
"You call me Trashmouth right after my mouth gives you great advice?"  
He snickered. "Let's get to our classes Thanks."

On that evening Bill and Stan left school grounds together and walked to a nearby cafe which looked wonderfully cozy. Bill opened the door for Stan and they went in taking their jackets off. When Eddie, who was standing behind the counter saw them his initial urge was to hide behind said counter. Instead he walked to the backroom where his coworker was.  
"Lily" Eddie called her nervously. "Could you maybe work in front alone for a while?"  
"Sure, but why?"  
"My friends are here and I think they're on a date and I don't want it to be awkward..."  
"Okay, got it." The girl grinned. "I'll tell you when they're gone. How do they look?"  
"Uhm, they're both pretty tall, one's got brown straight hair, the other blonde curly."  
"Which one is who?"  
"What? They're called Bill and-"  
"No, which one is the girl?"  
"Oh... uhm" Eddie had forgotten about that detail. He got nervous. How could he talk himself out of this? He decided that he could not. "They're both... not girls."  
"Ohhh, whoops. Sorry." She opened the door. "I'll tell you then" she said and smiled. Then she was gone and left Eddie standing in the corner surprised. Someone in Derry who did not complain about boys liking boys? He needed to tell Richie about this. But perhaps more importantly he had to tell him about Bill's and Stan's date. But for now he had to clean the backroom and do the dishes.  
"You can come back out" Lily said opening the door a while later. "I think the date went well by the way, they were laughing a lot."  
Eddie smiled. "Thank you so much."

***

The next day in school Richie heard about the "date" from Stanley himself (after Eddie had told him the night before on the telephone). As planned they drank hot chocolate and then they went to the cinema since it was a bit cold to watch birds. They still went to Bill's house afterwards to eat dinner and then talked in his room until ten o'clock when Stan had to go home. Bill had payed both the food and the movie tickets even though Stan had protested. To Richie that sounded like a full success and when he told his friend he blushed.  
Shorty after Stan found a little sketch of a bird in the front pocket of his rucksack, but he kept that to himself and hung the sketch up in his room.

In class the following day he tried sketching a bird himself. It did not look as good as Bill's drawing, but recognizable. "Do you want to join me watch birds today?" he wrote onto the paper and put it into Bill's bag when he got the chance. When he was standing at the lockers a while later Bill approached him.  
"Cuh-could I keep the bird?"  
"Huh?"  
Bill held his drawing with the question on it up. Stan blushed, but smiled.  
"Sure."  
"And yes, I want to join you and I'm gonna bring my sketchbook again."  
"Cool. Uhm, by the way Bill... You can tell me if you find bird watching boring. I would understand."  
"No, I luh-like it. It's very relaxing and i finally get time to draw."  
"Cool."  
"Cool. Suh-see you after school then!"  
"See you."

***

Bill was already waiting outside when Stanley left the school. He was waiting next to his old bike which he had named Silver. It was ready for the trash bin, but Bill still used it frequently. Stan greeted him and they began walking towards Stan's favourite birdsighting place. There they left Silver to lay in the cool grass. The two boys sat down leaning against a tree. Both took out what they needed. For Stan that was a birdbook and binoculars, For Bill it was his sketchbook and his pens. It was a cloudy day, but not too cold. They would not stay for long though.  
They shared comfortable silence as Bill looked through Stan's book and Stan looked through the binoculars. Stan loved it. In that moment he decided he could never have a relationship with someone that could not enjoy silence, someone who always needed to talk. Bill put the book to the side and Stan noticed his eyes on him.  
"Can we do something?"  
"What?"  
"When you see a bird, you describe it as best as you can, without telling me how it is called, and I'll try drawing it."  
Stan smiled. "Okay, good idea." He did as asked while Bill did his best drawing what he told him.  
"Okay, I think I'm fuh-finished..." Bill said hesitantly. He held the sketch up so Stan could see i. When he did he visibly tried holding a laugh back. He gave Bill the binoculars and pointed at the bird. He moved close to his head to see where he was looking.  
"It's a bit more to the left" Stan said.  
Then he realised how close they were and blushed backing away. Suddenly Bill started laughing putting the binoculars down.  
"It's ru-really bad" he said.  
"Yeah, it's pretty bad" Stan replied as a grin grew on his face. "Why did you draw the neck so long?" he asked giggling as he pointed at the bird.  
"I don't know, I just fuh-felt luh-like it should be long."  
Stanley burst out laughing too. As he was trying to calm down Bill moved his hand closer to his as his cheeks flushed.  
"I'm sorry, I don't want to be mean..."  
"Don't wuh-worry, the neck d-does look ridiculous" Bill grinned. Stan felt his little finger touch his. Their eyes locked and both of their hearts beat faster.  
"Do y-you wuh-want to try again?" Bill asked quietly after a moment of silence.  
_Is he staring at my lips?_  
"Uhm, yeah..." Stan responded. He broke the eye contact and grabbed the binoculars again. As he searched for a bird Bill noticed a drop of water fall onto his sketch.  
"Oh... Stuh-stan..."  
"Crap, it's starting to rain" Stan said holding up his hand and looking up at the cloudy sky. They started putting their things back into their bags. In mere seconds the dribble turned into a heavy rain.  
"My house is closer, should we...?" Stan asked when he had stood up.  
"Yeah, luh-let's go."  
He wanted to start to jog, but Bill grabbed his arm holding him back.  
"Wuh-wait."  
_We're drenched anyways._  
"Huh?" Stanley turned around.  
The rain was falling harder every second. Bill held eye contact and moved closer. When their heads were only about 20 centimetres apart Stan's eyes moved to Bill's lips. Bill carefully cupped Stan's cheek and together they closed the remaining space between their lips and linked them. The water was soaking through their jackets and their hair was sticking to their foreheads, but for about five seconds it did not matter to either of them.  
When they separated they looked at each other. Stanley was still ignoring the rain and had forgotten where and who he was in that moment.  
"Let's go before our school books get drenched too" Bill said quietly after a while. Stan noticed he did not stutter and then he remembered: they were in Derry, they had just been watching birds, they had to get inside immediately and... they had just kissed. Bill took his hand and dragged him with him. Even though it was cold and the rain made it even colder Bill's hand was warm, or maybe it only felt that way to Stanley. He smiled and they jogged to the Uris home.

When they arrived they went straight to Stanley's room. Stan took his jumper off under which he was wearing a button up shirt and then took everything out of his wet school bag, Bill copied him. Then he looked down at his drenched clothing.  
"Maybe we sh-should let our c-clothes dry..." he said hesitantly.  
"We can put them on the heater in the bathroom. Uhm, do you need to borrow my clothes?"  
"Thuh-that would be great."  
Stan gave him a jumper luckily they were about the same height so it fit well. Stan was just a bit taller, but had a more slim figure. He also gave him a pair of trousers and warm socks. Bill changed in the bathroom while Stan changed into his pyjama in his room. When Bill returned fully dressed he noticed the half finished puzzle in the corner of the room.  
"Yuh-you like puzzling?" he asked pointing at it.  
"Yeah, it's kinda my hobby. It's a bit lame, but-"  
"N-no. I like puzzling, especially when it's raining."  
"Uhm, should we continue it then?"  
"If yuh-you don't mind me interfering" Bill grinned. Stan grinned back.  
"Not at all, I'm actually kinda stuck."  
"G-great."  
And so the two of them sat down on two cushions and puzzled while the rain drops hit the window.  
Stanley observed the hours passing, but did not say anything even though it was probably time to go home for Bill, but he wanted him to stay as long as possible. Was that selfish? Possibly.  
Then Bill's eyes wandered to the clock.  
"Oh."  
It was about after eleven pm.  
"You should get home, huh?" Stan asked trying not to sound sad but neutral.  
"Uhm, yeah... M-my parents are p-p-probably worrying about me..."_They're not. They don't care._  
"Yeah." He looked at the window. It was pitch black outside. "It's still pouring, you're gonna get drenched."  
"Wouldn't be the first time today" Bill replied and smiled at him. Stan remembered their kiss. Well, it had actually been on his mind the whole time, but now the fact that it had actually happened hit him. He blushed lightly and broke eye contact. He let out a short laugh.  
"No, it wouldn't be."  
"Well..." Bill said standing up.  
"Well..." Stan cleared his throat and stood up too. After a short silence he continued. "You could stay the night. You know, so your clothes can dry and uhm, riding your old bike at night in the rain might be dangerous... My parents will understand."  
"That would p-p-probably be the best idea. Thanks, S-stan."  
"No problem."  
They went downstairs to ask Stanley's parents if Bill could stay and to call his to tell them. None of them minded. They went back up and Stanley lent his friend a pyjama. Then they brushed their teeth and went to bed. Luckily Stan had a wide bed they could both fit in so they did not have to set up a mattress.  
They laid face to face in the dark trying to breath quietly.   
"Goodnight" Bill whispered.  
"Goodnight" the other whispered back. He noticed something touching his hand that was laying between them. Bill's finger gently took one of Stan's who's heart skipped a beat. He gathered all his courage and started stroking his fingers with his thumb. He felt the plaster around the ringfinger.  
"Does that hurt?" he whispered more quietly than before.  
"No." The word was barely a breath out. Bill's thumb stroked Stan's palm.  
_I want to kiss you._  
_Why was this so much easier in the rain?_  
None of them moved an inch and so they fell asleep with linked fingers.


	21. First Date and Christmas

"Oh my fucking god!" Richie replied excitedly when Stan told him about the kiss the following day. "And then?"  
"We went home and puzzled" Stanley responded blushing, his eyes scanning the hallway quickly.   
"And?"  
"Well, nothing."  
"Nothing?"  
"Yeah, we only kissed once."  
"Okay, then meet up with him again."  
"Rich, I don't know if that is a good idea. Maybe he regrets... the kiss and he just did it because it felt right in the moment..."  
"Staniel, my dear" Richie began putting his hands onto Stan's shoulders. "He did not run away afterwards so I think you're fine." He took his hands away. "I can't believe this is happening, Stanny is getting a boyfriend!"  
"Will you shut up?"  
"Oh no" Richie said having seen something or someone behind Stan. His friend turned around. "It's that time of the year again."  
"What time?"  
"When temperatures get bellow 10°C and Eddie starts wearing ten layers of clothing. It's fucking adorable."  
"Poor Eddie" Stan mumbled when Richie sprinted off to meet his boyfriend. Eddie was wearing a thick bomber jacket, gloves, a scarf pulled up to his nose and a hat pulled down to his eyebrows. His brown hair that peaked out of the beanie stood up into every direction.  
"Cute, cute, cute!" Richie called when he had reached him. He pinched his cheek as Eddie tried to get him away whilst walking towards Stan.  
"Don't touch me, dickhead!"  
"How can I not if you're so adorably wrapped like a present?"  
"Thu-those are a hand-full, huh?" someone suddenly said behind Stan who flinched.  
"Oh, suh-sorry" Bill grinned as he leant against the lockers.  
"It's called a cold prevention, asshole. I'm surely not getting sick now with all the exams coming up! Maybe you could dress a bit warmer by now. Close your damn jacket for example!" Eddie said and started closing the buttons of Richie's jacket who stood there accepting his faith.  
"Oh, hi guys" Eddie greeted his two friends pushing down his scarf with his free hand, the other remaining on Richie's jacket. "Why do you even have it open? Its freezing!" he continued turning back to him.  
"Because I've got a fashion sense!" Richie protested but allowed Eddie to close the last button under huis chin.  
"Since when?" Stan asked with a smirk.  
"I vuh-vividly remember you wearing a Christmas sweater yesterday."  
"Is that supposed to be an argument against my claim? You aren't the one to talk, you're wearing the same thing as yesterday!"  
Bill and Stanley both blushed.  
"Yuh-yea, I sorta had to. I spontaneously stayed ay S-s-stan's."  
"You did?" Eddie asked positively surprised.   
"He had to because of the rain" Stan clarified.  
Richie and Eddie exchanged suggestive looks.  
"Yeah, exactly" Bill said eyeing Stanley quickly.  
"Did you have fun?" Eddie asked.  
"Yeah, wuh-we puzzled."  
"Talking about meeting friends, you wanna come over today, Eds?" Richie asked pulling Eddie's hat down.  
"Fuck you" he replied. He took put his beanie back on. "I don't know, Rich. I need to start studying for geography..." he continued grabbing the hem of Richie's jacket.  
"We can study together" Richie said cupping Eddie's cheeks.  
Now it was Bill and Stan's turn to exchange grinning looks.  
"Hm, sure..." Eddie said looking down at his hands.  
"We don't have to, babe."  
"I just don't trust you to concentrate on studying" Eddie grinned up at him.  
"Let's bet."  
"Shuh-should we luh-leave you alone?"  
"Or get you a room?" Stan asked and Bill laughed.  
"While we're on it, we can get one for you two too, huh?"  
"Beep-beep, Trashmouth" Stan replied crossing his arms.  
"I should really g-get to class, guh-guys."  
"What do you have?"  
"Uhm, maths." And since Stanley's class was in the same direction they walked together causing Richie and Eddie to exchange a grin.

***

A few weeks later, a day after Christmas eve in fact, the Kaspbrak home received a call. Sonia Kaspbrak was the one to pick the phone up and asked who was on the other end.  
"Uhm..." He cleared his throat. "Richard Tozier here. May I perhaps talk to, uhm- Edward?"  
"Richard Tozier... you're the one who is forcing my Eddie-bear to rebel, aren't you?"  
"Uhm, no? I'm a friend of h-"  
"I know who you are! You're ruining my my little boy."  
"I'm not the one ruining him" Richie mumbled.  
"What was that?" Mrs Kaspbrak asked, her voice raising.  
Luckily Eddie grabbed the phone in that instant. "Thank you, ma."  
She grumbled and left to go back to the living room and watch television.  
"Hey, Rich. What did my mom do to you?"  
"Hello, my love. Oh, she treated me wonderfully, just like last night."  
"I'm hanging up."  
"Wait, no! Merry Chrismas, Eds."  
"Merry Christmas, Rich."  
"I've got some good news! Dont worry, I'm not pregnant. I got my first salary today!"  
"That's amazing! I'm not gonna get mine until the end of the year."  
"My dear Eddie-bear, do you think the wonderful Mrs K could spare you for tonight?"  
"Why?"  
"Because I wanna take my beautiful boyfriend out with my new earned money – a celebratory date, as one might say."  
"But we've never been on a-" Eddie began and then looked around to see if his mother was close. She was not. Regardless he whispered the word "date".  
"Well, it's fucking time then, isn't it?"  
"Yeah, I suppose" Eddie replied smiling. "What have you planned?"  
"Uhm... I'll invite you to a romantic dinner. Like a very romantic restaurant, the best in Derry."  
"Oh, your salary is one thousand a month?" He giggled.  
"Hm, maybe the second best restaurant, but let's pretend it's the best. And afterwards you'll come to mine and we'll have dessert."  
"Rich."  
"I'm kidding, babe. See you!"

***

When Eddie's doorbell rang he was already close to the door to make sure his mother would not reach it before him. She did not and so Eddie was the first to see Richie standing on the porch wearing a colourful button-up shirt and a black blazer. He himself was wearing a white shirt with fancy trousers.  
"Hello, I am here to escort a certain Mr Kaspbrak to his date with a very handsome young chap" Richie said in a bad english accent.  
"I hate you" Eddie replied grinning. He grabbed the hem of Richie's blazer and kissed him.  
When their lips separated Eddie put their foreheads together.  
"Merry Christmas, Eds" Richie whispered and Eddie felt his warm breath on his cheeks.  
"Merry Christmas, Richard." Then he let go and grabbed his jacket. "Shall we go?"  
"Yes, we shall, but first-"   
Richie had been hiding his left hand behind his back and retrieved it now. He held up a single rose.  
"A little Christmas present."  
Eddie smiled. "You pretentious dork. Thank you" he said taking it. Then Richie gave him his elbow to hold and Eddie said goodbye to his mother.

The restaurant Richie had chosen for the date could be ranked as the third most fancy restaurant in Derry perhaps. Years after the couple would have left Derry, the place would become a Chinese restaurant in which the Losers would meet years later. And when Eddie did walk back into it in 2017 he would remember that night of 1994 with Richie, but he would not know for sure if it had perhaps just been a peculiar dream.  
"A table for... four?" a waiter asked the couple when they entered the place in 1994.  
"No, two. Tozier. I reserved it."  
"Oh, my apologies. I thought- Well, here's you're table."  
Not too many tables were actually occupied, Eddie noticed, and yet the waiter pointed to a specific one further back. It was cozyier there anyways. When they sat down Eddie was still clutching to the rose. He could have left it at home, but he wanted it to accompany them throughout the night.  
"Hm, maybe it's not as fancy as I imagined" Richie said looking around, the menu in his hands.  
"I love it."  
He looked at his boyfriend and smiled. "I love you."  
"Stop that, Richie!" Eddie said hiding a grin behuind the menu and blushing. "I love you too" he added whispering. "You emotional sap."  
"By the way, when am I getting my Christmas present?"  
Eddie lent over the table towards him and Richie got close to his face staring at his lips.  
"You'll need to be a little patient" Eddie said quietly and leant away again.

"Next time I'm cooking you a nice meal!" Richie said when they had left the restaurant. He was walking hand- in-hand with Eddie towards their bikes.  
"Oh, I would wanna see that!"  
"You will!"  
"What will you make, microwave pasta? Oh, make microwave lasagna!" Eddie grinned.  
"You're the one to talk, as if you knew how to cook!"  
"I can't, but I'm not the one inviting you to a self made dinner."  
"Pfft."  
Eddie laughed and kissed him on the cheek.  
"Sorry and thank you for the invite. It was great."  
They stopped in front of the bikes and Richie wrapped his arms around Eddie's waist.  
"You're great."  
"Stop doing that, asshole" Eddie replied. He stood on his tiptoes and pressed his lips softly against Richie's. Richie pressed him closer and started kissing him more passionately, but Eddie leant away.  
"You gotta keep something for later!"   
"What are you doing to me, Eds?"  
"Keeping some mystery" he grinned. He let go and got onto his bike quickly.  
"Who arrives at yours first!" he called and with that he was gone.  
"Fuck you, unfair!" Richie shouted getting onto his bicycle.

***

When they entered the Tozier home it began to rain. "Just arrived in fucking time, eh?", Richie mumbled.  
"Where are your parents?" Eddie asked taking his jacket off.  
"At my aunt's for another Christmas dinner."  
"And they didn't force you to go?"  
"Told them I had to study."  
Eddie shook his head in disbelief but smiled. "And they believed that?"  
"I'm great at convincing" Richie grinned.  
"You're the worst."  
Richie gently pushed him against the wall and put a hand on his cheek. "You can leave anytime."  
Eddie grabbed his face and kissed him forcing Richie to remove his hand from his cheek. Instead he placed it on his waist. Eddie's arms wrapped around his neck whilst Richie's fingers slipped under his shirt.  
They tumbled towards the sofa where Eddie fell onto his back and Richie leant over him. They kicked off their shoes and Richie began kissing Eddie's neck and slowly opening his belt. Eddie squeezed his eyes shut and breathed heavily.  
"Wait, let me.." he whispered before Richie had finished opening his trousers.   
"Huh?" he asked in confusion. Eddie responded by opening Richie's belt.  
"It's my Christmas present, isn't it?"  
"Eddie, you don't have to-"  
"But I want to." Now Eddie slipped his fingers under the hem of his underwear.  
"Oh god, Eds..." He clumsily kissed Eddie's neck, but had to give it up when he felt a shiver down his spine.


	22. New Year's Eve

The Christmas days passed quickly and 1995 was close. In those weird days between Christmas and New Year's all of the Losers did their best at convincing their parents to let them go to Richie's on New Year's eve. Luckily they all managed. Richie's parents went out for dinner with his sister and would visit friends after. Mike was the first to arrive at the Tozier home. He held a big bag up and grinned at Richie.  
"Hey, merry Christmas. I bought some presents."  
"Hey, Hanlon. You're my man, dude" Richie said putting an arm around his friend and patting his back. "What would we do without you?"  
"Probably not get drunk." And after a little consideration: "Maybe I'm a bad influence actually."  
"Don't say that. Without you we would need to steal the booze and that would be worse, right?"  
They laughed and walked to the living room.  
"Hey, man" Mike began. "How did your date with Eddie go?"  
"Great. The rose was a great idea."  
"I told you."  
"Yes you did, you're the best with relationship advice. Maybe we should get you a girl sometime. I'll be your wing man!"  
"I don't know" Mike said getting the alcohol bottles out of his bag and putting them onto the table. "I'm not that interested in dates and such... Coaches don't play, you know?"  
"Sure dude" Richie replied grinning.

One Loser after the other arrived bringing snacks or booze. Richie had put on his favourite Queen album on the record player. They ordered pizza and then went out to the garden to smoke a few joints Beverly had brought.  
"G-g-guys" Bill said passing the joint over to Mike. "You're all g-great. Everything else in Derry s-sucks, but you're great."  
Everyone exchanged smiles with each other.  
"Spoken like a true poet" Stanley said.  
"And he's not even drunk yet" Ben grinned.  
"Well, this is gonna be a very emotional night, huh?" Richie said taking a drag from the joint.  
In that moment the door bell rang.  
"That's the pizza" Mike said standing up. The others followed him. Richie killed the joint and threw the stubble into the bushes. Eddie waited for him and when he wanted to leave grabbed the hem of this jacket.  
"What's wrong?"  
"Nothing, just wanted a minute alone with you incase we're not gonna get one again..."  
Richie grinned and bent down putting his hands on his waist. Eddie slung his arms around his neck and kissed him.  
"This has been a pretty great year" Eddie whispered keeping little space between their lips.  
"I couldn't have asked for more."  
"I love you."  
"I love you more."  
"Yeah, maybe."  
"Fuck you" Richie laughed and linked their lips again.

***

After every last pizza slice had disappeared from the boxes and most of the alcohol had been consumed it was time to count down the seconds until 12 o'clock.  
All of them chanted the numbers together with their drunken voices.  
"Five."  
Eddie turned towards Richie and smiled at him grabbing his collar.  
"Four."  
Beverly slung her arms around Ben's neck who's cheeks flushed immediately.   
"Three."  
Bill put his arms around Stanley's and Mike's shoulders.  
"Two, one..."  
Eddie and Richie kissed and so did Ben and Beverly. Bill gave Mike a kiss on the cheek which caused all of the Losers to laugh. But then, to their surprise, Bill turned to Stan who cupped his cheeks. Then he kissed him on the lips. All of their friends watched the scene with wide eyes.  
"Uhhh" Beverly said grinning widely. The two boys blushed deeply.  
"Thu-this felt like a g-good opportunity to tell you guys" Bill said looking at the ground.  
"Great surprise effect, dude" Richie said and then turned to Eddie. "Why didn't we do it like that?"  
Eddie shook his head grinning.  
"Well, that's great, guys. I'm so happy for all of you" Beverly said and a tear rolled down her face. She hugged Bill and Stan.  
"Happy new year, Bev" Stan said smiling and his voice cracked. Everyone started wishing each other a happy new year and hugging and perhaps they also cried a little bit, but none of them would have admitted that.

A few hours later the Losers began getting ready for bed. They had sobered up for the most part and were growing tired. Richie walked into the kitchen to throw away three empty bottles. Eddie was putting two half full coke bottles into the fridge. The room was in darkness apart from the white light over the oven. The two of them were alone.  
"Hey, Spaghetti" Richie said opening the trash can with his foot. "How did you like the party?"  
"Fun, but I can already feel the hangover coming" Eddie replied and leant against the fridge. Richie grinned, but then turned serious.  
"Eds, uhm, do you still have the ring pop?"  
"Nah, I threw it away. It was filthy."  
"Oh" Richie said. He looked down and his voice sounded sad.   
"I'm kidding, idiot" Eddie said approaching him. "I keep it in a drawer in my night stand. Why?"  
"You asshole, you scared me."  
He grinned. "Sorry, babe" he said and kissed him.  
"Maybe it's cause I'm drunk, but I just wanted to remind you that that was a serious offer."  
"I know."  
"I don't want our ways to part after school, Eds. I love you" Richie responded looking at his feet.  
"Hey, I love you too" Eddie replied and stroked his cheek. "What's wrong, Rich?"  
"We talked about travelling in the summer, but afterwards you want to go to college, right?"  
"Yeah, of course."  
"Well, you'll have to apply by spring."  
"Yes. What's this about, Rich?"  
He audibly took a breath in and out. "I want to live in California."  
"We can apply for college there, that shouldn't be a problem."  
"I'm not going to college."  
"What? But- what? You can't _not_ study. What are you gonna work as?"  
"There are many other options, Eds. I'm happy with a work in a fast food restaurant."  
"You'll probably get the best grades out of all of us, you can't just not study!" Eddie's voice raised.  
"I can't stay in Maine, I need to get away and if that means I can't go to uni then that's the price I'm willing to pay."  
"Can't you study in California?"  
"Theoretically, but my parents won't pay that and the rent."  
"Well, ask them!"  
"They don't give a shit about me!"  
"But I do and i dont want you to throw your future away. Maine isn't that bad, you dont need to stay in Derry."  
"I need to leave to... thrive" Richie replied. It sounded ridiculous, he knew that, but it was the most fitting word he could think of.  
"That's bullshit. You're just telling yourself that because California is so cool that you need to go there. What if you don't find a job? Where are you gonna live? It's just not realistic!"  
"Oh and here I thought my boyfriend would support my decision" Richie said and even though he understood Eddie's point of view he was now getting angry. For the most part, though, he was beginning to feel hopeless and perhaps that feeling was easiest converted into anger.  
"Maybe your stupid boyfriend wants to keep being your boyfriend. But I can't live in a crappy apartment in Los Angeles and work in a beach bar for a crappy salary!"  
"I'm not saying you shouldn't study. You can study in Cali."  
"But I dont want to watch you throw your future away" Eddie now said loweing his voice.  
"Why can't you have a little faith in me? College isn't that important. I can feel that something big is waiting in California..." Richie's voice had also lowered and it had a sad tone.  
"But a feeling just isn't enough to build a future on" Eddie replied and with every word the hope to change Richie's mind audibly left his speech.  
A short silence filled then kitchen.  
"It's good to know that that's your opinion." Richie said. He gave his friend a sad smile, turned away and left. Eddie stared at the closed door Richie had disappeared through until his eyes started to burn. Then he needed to blink and tears started falling down his cheeks. He began sobbing and kicked the bin.  
He packed his things together and rode his bicycle home.  
All their friends were surprised when he left so suddenly, but Richie did not want to explain. He watched Eddie riding away and tried holding his tears back.  
"Let's get to bed, guys" he said turning towards them.

***

Richie and Eddie did not exchange a single word during the rest of the holidays. When school began again they avoided each other in the hallways and classes. Their friends were clueless as to what had happened between them since neither of them answered their questions.  
But then on Saturday night someone knocked on Eddie's bedroom window whilst he was reading a comic in his bed. He looked up and his first thought was: Richie. His heart began pounding quicker.  
He jogged to the window and opened it quickly. Richie jumped into the room. They looked at each other in silence for a few seconds and then Eddie wrapped his arms around Richie's torso and buried his face in his shoulder. Richie put his chin on the top of Eddie's head and pressed him close. Their eyes started filling with tears.


	23. An Old Acquaintance

After a few minutes of silently embracing Eddie leant away and looked up at Richie. He cupped his cheek and kissed him. As their lips linked he felt the emptiness that had been filling his insides like poison since new years slowly disappear into thin air.

"This is hopeless, isn't it?" Richie whispered putting their foreheads together after the kiss.

"No. No, Rich..." Eddie replied stroking his cheek.  
  
"But you're... so amazing and I'm a mess. You have a great future ahead, I would just be in the way."

Eddie grabbed his hand and walked him to the bed where he sat down. Richie laid down next to him resting his head on his lap. Eddie began playing with his hair.

"Y'know, I want you to live your best possible life" Richie said – his voice sounded horribly sad – , "and if that's without me and far away from Cali, I'm fine with it. I'll be sad, but I'll be fine. But... If you _don't_ mind me being a part of it" he continued and grabbed Eddie's hand to stroke it, "I would love to follow you anywhere. I don't give a shit about anything as long as I'm with you."

"That's very flattering, Rich" Eddie replied, a faint smile on his lips. "But... I don't want you to throw your dreams away for me. Now that I had time to consider it I realised that I actually don't mind living in a crappy apartment if I'm there with you. I'll study and you'll find whatever you say is waiting for you there."

"I love you so much" Richie said sitting up and taking his boyfriends hands in his.

"I love you too, but if it doesnt work out, you'll start college the year after, deal?"

"Deal" Richie said grinning. They giggled and then smiled at each other.

"Let's seal the deal, huh?" Richie whispered smirking and leaning towards Eddie.

Eddie bit his lip and had to grin. "Idiot" he whispered before their lips linked.

***

More and more exams filled the Losers weeks as Spring came closer. This meant Richie and Eddie's eighteenth birthdays were approaching. Sunshine began creeping through the dark winter clouds and everyone began applying to colleges. Eddie applied to a few californian colleges and a few other ones ("just in case!").

Since the couple's birthdays were so close together (Eddie was a day older which always caused a lot of teasing and bickering between them on his birthday) they decided to celebrate it together. All of the Losers were deep into their studying at that point so a little party was a great change of atmosphere. The day after Richie's birthday fell on a Saturday. On said day all of the Losers met up at the Hanlon farm bringing decorations, alcohol and other beverages, food and snacks. When a few more friends (or better acquaintances) of them showed up the party could start.

"This wasn't the best idea" Richie said looking around at the lesser known faces.

"Huh?" Eddie asked taking a sip from his drink. He was sitting next to his boyfriend on a hay bale inside the barn where everything was set up.

"Inviting other people... Now I can't show affection to you!" Richie replied putting his chin on his shoulder and giving him a feigned over the top sad frown.

Eddie giggled and pushed him away. "I think you can survive one night without doing so."

"I cannot" he replied slinging his arms around Eddie's torso. He then stood up throwing Eddie over his shoulder.

"Rich!" he exclaimed laughing.

"Oh, dear, are you heavy! You've eaten too much cake, mister" Richie said and groaned. He put his boyfriend back on the floor who tried very hard to give him an angry look.

"You asshole, now I spilled my drink!"

"I'll get you a new one, my Majesty" he said taking his cup and giving him a kiss on the cheek. Eddie blushed as Richie walked away with a satisfied smirk on his lips.

But the smirk disappeared after having turned away from Eddie, when he spotted someone in the crowd. Someone who made his stomach turn and his face turn pale. Just a few steps away from him stood Connor. Connor Bowers. The boy who used to play with him at the arcade when they were younger. The boy who happened to be Henry Bowers cousin. The one that had caused the homophobic insults to come to a peak. Connor, who was still very cute and who had moved away about two years ago. A boy - no matter his appearance - Richie did not feel like seeing.  
At all.  
But perhaps he was also a little happy to see him after so long, but of course he would never admit that.

Suddenly the blond head moved and their eyes met. Richie's cheeks gained a pink colour when Connor smiled at him. The boy excused himself to the people he had been talking to and approached Richie.

"Hey, man. How are you doing? Happy Birthday!" he said tried to hug Richie. But he took a step back and avoided the hug.

"Uhm, hi. Thanks. Sorry, I just didn't expect you to- who invited you?" Richie stammered.

"I came with friends." And after a short pause: "Sorry, I shouldn't have come... that was a bad idea."

"No, no, it's fine, I guess... Are you visiting?"

"Y-yeah."

"Lucky bastard, got out of Derry" Richie said grinning. He managed to give him a friendly punch in the shoulder.

Connor smiled relieved. "It's great, honestly. But my mom still insists we need to visit every once in a while. I don't know, some bullshit about memorating Henry and his father."  
_(Spoken as if Henry was dead.)_  
"But it's not too bad. I get to see old friends and, well... you."

"Yeah that's not too bad..." Richie replied awkwardly looking anywhere that wasn't Connor's face.

There seemed to be such an uncomfortable emotional space between them that was filled with words that had never been said.

"Hey, Rich... I wanted to apologise, I was a dick back then. I really wish things would have happened differently."

'They would have if you hadn't been an asshole" Richie said to Connor's shock, but then Richie grinned and he relaxed.

"Yep."

"It's in the past. I'm good now, I've got a great boyfriend who doesn't bully me in front of his friends. Well, in fact" Richie said looking thoughtful, "he also does it when they are not there!"

Connor giggled and Richie could hear the relief in his tone.

"I'm happy for you, man. Is that him?" he replied pointing towards Eddie who was still waiting for his drink by the hay.

He nodded.

"I would present him to you, but I don't think that's the best idea..."

"No, probably not" Connor responded.

"Well..."

"Well..."

"Uhm, I was actually on the way to getting Eddie a drink" Richie said. "So, see you around." He gave Connor a short hug and then walked to the table with the beverages. When he arrived and Connor was out of sight he breathed out in relief.  
"Well" he said to himself as he poured coke into the cup in his hand, "another awkward encounter survived. Didn't go too bad."

Richie and Connor had occasionally played at the arcade together in the years between 1989 and 1992, but Richie had always tried keeping him at a distance fearing Henry would see them together, as it had once happened. But once Eddie had refused to go to the arcade with him _again_ and Connor had laughed his most honest laugh at Richie, he could not keep him at a distance anymore. He liked how his blonde curls fell into his face and how many freckles appeared on his cheeks in summer. Richie could have sworn that in the summer of 1992 he had more freckles than ever before.

On one sunny day Richie had excused himself to him at the arcade to go to the bathroom. But when he exited his stall Connor had appeared in the bathroom too. He was leaning against a wall.  
"You decided you also need to pee?" Richie asked as he began washing his hands.

"No. I don't need to."

"Uhm... okay" he responded in a confused manner. He dried his hands and looked at his friend in confusion. "You just enjoy hanging out in bathrooms or...?"

And then Connor had pushed him against the wall.

"Hey! What the fuck are you doing. What did I-" Richie began thinking he was going to get beaten up, but he was interrupted mid sentence when Connor grabbed his face and pressed his lips against his.

"What the..." Richie whispered when they separated. Instead of finishing his sentence he cupped his cheeks and kissed him back, more passionately now.

Suddenly the door opened. Connor pushed Richie away. As soon as the man who had entered the room disappeared in a stall Connor ran out. Richie followed him and watched him leave the arcade.

"What the fuck just happened?" he whispered to himself in disbelief as Connor disappeared on his bicycle.

From that day on Richie tried to visit the arcade every day for at least an hour, but he did not meet Connor there. After about a week and a half had passed Richie gathered all his courage and went to his friend's house. When Connor opened the door and saw him standing in front of it he was about to close the door again when Richie stopped him by putting his foot in the door way.

"Please, Connor. I just want to know what the hell is going on."

Connor looked at his feet and spoke with a cracked voice: "I shouldn't have done that."

"Why not?"

He looked up at him. "What a stupid question" he said grinning. Richie managed a subtle smile.

"Okay, I know why. Maybe we're not supposed to do that, but... it didn't feel bad... did it?"

Connor bit his lip and stayed silent for a few seconds. Then he quietly said: "My parents aren't home. Do you wanna come in?"

A few minutes later the two boys were lying on Connor's bed and making out. They met up to do so a few more times, sometimes at Connor's, sometimes at Richie's (when their parents were not at home of course) and sometimes even at the arcade in a bathroom stall.

One day Richie saw Connor hanging out with his friends on the street as he was walking to the arcade. He walked passed them and greated his friend. Connor ignored him, but Richie was sure he had heard him.

"What the fuck did that fag want from you?" he heard one of his friends whisper to him.

"I don't know. I saw that loser at the arcade once and now he thinks we're friends or something."

Richie stopped walking and turned towards them. His eyes met Connor's who looked at him sadly.

"Oh sorry, I thought making out with you qualified me as friend" Richie blurted out. He knew he should not say it, but he had felt so incredibly hurt in that moment. And when Richie Tozier knew he should not say something, he could not hold it back.

"What the hell is that faggot saying?" one of Connor's friend asked him.

"I-I don't know. He's inventing stuff!"

"What the fuck are you saying, asshole?" the friend asked Richie and pushed him against a wall (but in a very different way than Connor had done not long ago).

"Oh, nothing" Richie replied. The boy actually seemed to be satisfied with his answer and was about to turn away when Richie continued: "Just that your friend isn't less of a fag than m-"

But then his fist was already in his face. He fell to the floor and black dots began appearing at the corner of his eyes.

A few days after the incident Richie rang Connor's door bell. He had not seen him since his lovely friend had punched him in his face so whole heartedly. He needed answers.

When Connor opened the door he confronted him with what had happened. "Of course we're not gonna tell people what we're secretly doing, but that doesn't mean we can't be friends officially" he finished his rant.

"I'm sorry, I panicked when you greeted me. Besides, you don't have the best reputation around school... Maybe we should keep our friendship secret too, so people don't get suspicious..."

"Maybe we should just end this whole thing, it was a stupid idea" Richie said and turned to leave.

But it did not end. They continued having their weekly meet ups in secret. But of course it could not last long.  
One day when Richie visited him he notice cardboard boxes everywhere around the house. He asked Connor about them who told him he and his family were moving out of Derry.  
To Richie's question "when were you planning on telling me?" Connor only answered by looking at his feet. Richie left without saying another word. Connor moved away a few days after and they never saw each other again until the spring of 1995.


End file.
